MIlestones and tears

I don't know what is going to happen tonight.
Will I laugh or cry?
You see, tonight is the "Drop your pants" weight loss support group meeting.
I will show up wearing my best suit from before my weight loss surgery, and drop it on the floor after modeling it. Of course, I hope to see many others who will do the same thing.
And also, I will be wearing my new clothes underneath, so it won't be that traumatic for the audience.
I haven't given this much thought until now. I am usually a ham and have no problems getting up in front of people, but I think this might be different.
I just tried the suit on and felt the stirring of emotions I haven't felt for a long time.
I never got to wear it when it was new. I never had the occasion. I bought it so I could play weddings as a DJ since I didn't like Tuxes. But, I never got to wear it.
So now, I have an expensive suit that is a clown outfit.
I am so glad it is a clown outfit and not the only dress suit that I can fit into.
I'll let you know what happens tonight.

Bad boy, bad boy, watcha gonna do?

I didn't go to the gym at all this week. A wave of fatigue swept over me and the dog ate it.
I got my exercise in other ways.
The grass was growing out of control, and I cut it 3 times. I also took a long walk, and got many little things done that I have been putting off.
It seems I have energy at certain times of the day, and I have to work at those times, or I won't get things finished.
I didn't take a nap until Thursday this week, but I went to bed at 8:30pm Wednesday evening. I just plain ran out of steam.
I have been in a panic mode and haven't been sleeping well. I believe that is part of my problem.
I spent a lot of time getting the paperwork together for the remortgaging of my home. That was very stressful for me. If it doesn't go through, we will lose the house and probably have to declare bankruptcy.
This will force me to do something I have been afraid to do for a long time.
So, weight loss has enabled me to do many more things than I could do before. It gave me a new chance at life. But, it didn't solve my personal problems.
I still feel good, however, and look forward to the next challenge.
I may even get back to the gym next week.

Before 8 o'clock

I got up at my usual time (4:30am) after roasting all night. The humidity came back with a vengeance, and I didn't open the windows more than a crack. I did have the ceiling fan running all night, so that helped.
Before I left the house for my bus route, I was able to bring a pot of kidney beans to a boil, then lowered the heat and let them simmer while I was gone.
Temperature in the house this morning was 78 because I am cooking the chili. The humidity is so bad that the back door is sticking. It swelled up a bit.
When I came home, I did all the prep work for the chili, including browning some ground Bison along with onions and other seasonings, browning sausage links removed from their casings, mixing the tomatoes, paste, and seasonings, finishing up the beans, mixing them all together in the crock pot, and eating my meal.
Now, I am going to turn on the AC and cool off. The fan just isn't doing it.
The grass could use a clipping today, but I think I will pass in favor of doing some other stuff that needs to be done.
I should go shopping too.
The mortgage application is finished, and waiting for the fee to be sent out.
And, most of this was done before 8 o'clock!

In between, when I should be working on something else.

I am 3/4 of the way through the paperwork to refinance our home in order to save it, so I thought I would take a break and ramble a bit.
I like bullet points, so here goes:

• I am still sore from East Petersburg day, but I cut the lawn on Monday, and still did other things. Tuesday, I trimmed all the bushes around the house. My wife is going to be upset when I cut down the Forsythia bushes in another day or so. I would love to pull them out, but will settle for the major trimming, in hopes that I can afford to hire a landscaper next year to redo the whole area. I have a third of an acre and there are areas that are in terrible shape that I can't fix without help. I am going to research types of mulch to see if I can use stones instead of mulch where the sun doesn't hit.
• I have to clean up the rest of the basement, and back bedroom in the next week in order for the appraiser to come over and give the house a fair value.
• I am going to work on some songs for playing my guitar in the next week, come Hell or high water. I have been promising myself to do this for a few months now. I am a good player and decent singer. I should use my talents again.
• The lawn has needed to be cut every other day all summer with a short break in July when things slowed down a bit. They are back up to full speed now, so I get my workout every other day.
• My arms and face are now tanned from being out in the sun. I look good with clothes, and most people can't tell I had surgery. They just know that I'm thinner. I had lots of positive comments at East Pete day, and didn't use my nasty replies to anyone there.
• Oh well, time to get back to work.
  

The Longest day 2009

I know this is a reference to a terrible day is our nation's and world's history, but I am borrowing it for now.
It is not a negative reference. Rather, it is a triumph for me.
The fact that I survived is one milestone.
The fact that I am writing this so soon after the day is amazing.
I started out around 7 am. yesterday morning and finished up around midnight. I had to unwind, so I stayed up after I got home at 10:45pm or so.
East Petersburg Day turned out to be something special for me this year. It usually is, but this year proved that I can still push the envelope and survive.
I have a sunburn on my nose and neck, and am a little sore, but I survived.
Read my Facebook picture pages to see what it was like.
Today, I took a Helix ride to see a monster million pound pair of generators being moved to TMI
Our ride took about two hours total. My back was sore, but I did that too. I also went grocery shopping. But, I am bushed now, and heading to bed a little early.
I'm happy to be alive.
nuclear power plant. They were parked for the weekend and there were hundreds of people gawking at it.

Just Stuff

I found a new blog for me, but am not happy reading it. The writer is so negative and sour that it's amazing she can even be on the radio and sounds so good.
I won't mention her name. You can look for yourself.

Another situation:
East Petersburg Day is this Saturday.
I do the event every year. I enjoy it very much. Last year, I was able to wander around and take pictures. I didn't really do anything.
This year, I will be onstage and help with set up and take down. I will MC along with another guy who has done much of the grunt work.
The day is very long. This year, I will be there from beginning (7am or so), until around 10:30pm. That's a long day for young people. This old man is going to be very tired!
I promised to lend my sound system to Manheim Township Police Officer Littlehale for a "Teen Dance" starting at 9pm and going until 10:30 or so. This is the first time they are doing this type of thing, so I hope it will be a success. They were going to use a Boom Box, but I didn't think it would be big enough for the size of the room. So, I am going to set my (450 watts RMS) system up, and take it down, and hope they know how to use it. I may stick around to help if asked, and I hope their CD is good quality. My CD player has a bit of trouble sometimes with copied discs.

Next:
I am looking for help. I have the following needs:

• Counseling. I have an appointment scheduled for next week. This "shrink" is a Post Op that has about a year on me. She has experience with the things I have going on in my head related to the surgery and the changes from it. I am looking forward to speaking with her.
• Finances. I am looking for an accountant to help me decide what to do. I owe too much, and can't pay it back when the people I owe want it. This is almost bankruptcy. We can do 3 things. None of them make me happy. If anyone can offer advice, I would be grateful. I already have instituted some of Dave Ramsey's stuff, but I need more technical advice.
  
• Repairs to the home. There are things that need to be done, but I can't do them myself. Too technical and above my pay grade. Driveway is damaged and needs to be replaced. I can't afford it. I have the water lines installed, but I don't have the holes drilled to install an outside water line. I need two garden lines installed. I can't afford that either.
• Music/Job. I play guitar and sing. I would like to play again, but haven't been able to get off the ground. I need a friend to be by my side and help me stay focused. Ever need someone like that? My wife isn't able to help. I have my music equipment. I am ready.
• Job/Job. I probably need to get a real job to make more money. I am almost ready to work full time. I would like to drive a bigger vehicle (CDL Class B) since I have been driving bus for 34 years. I really hate driving, but wouldn't mind a regular route with good pay. A cement mixer, dump truck comes to mind. I can probably drive them now that I lost the weight. Believe it or not, I tried just before I had the surgery. I couldn't reach the pedals because my fat belly got in the way by rubbing against the steering wheel. My legs were too short. It's good to be able to reach the brakes when you need to. Take my word for it...

My weight has leveled out. I am down 101 pounds, and stuck for now. I am a bit upset because I only got to the gym once this week. I am going to try to get there every day next week. I am going to do aerobics 3 days, and weight training on the other two days. I am looking so much better. I still have a hanging belly, but my other parts are firming up a bit. I have a "farmer's" tan because I don't take my shirt off outside. So, my arms are dark, and the rest of me is Lilly White.
More later when I have time.

Junk in between the ears.

The link I posted was a book I read years ago that got me to thinking, and I believe it led me to where I am now.

Here it is again!

It is called "Simplify your life". It is a small book with very short chapters.
Some of it should be called "live dirtier than before" because it suggests you do your cleaning a lot less than before. Do laundry less, cleaning your house less, etc. Yes, that saves time, but I should be able to clean my house when I want.
The concept is to make life easier and simpler, which I embrace. I spend so much time wasted doing "busy" work, that it drives me crazy. So, I will adapt the ideas in this book to make them my own. I will simplify my life.
One of the things mentioned is to live and work in a place where you enjoy life. I don't like Central Pennsylvania for one reason:
The weather.
I dislike the humidity, the cold without snow, the snow, ice, rain, and did I mention the humidity?
I hate the way my nose is stuffed up all the time.
I hate the way I feel when it gets cold and my joints ache, even though there is nothing wrong with me.
I hate cutting the lawn and having the moisture waft up and make me feel like I'm trying to wade through mud and heavy air.
I hate the way it smells.
So, I want to simplify my life by moving somewhere that I don't have those feelings.
I was in Nevada a few years ago, and I loved the fact that my sinus' cleared up. I liked the dryness and the warmth. I even liked the heat.

I have adopted many of the ideas in the book, but unfortunately, my wife hasn't, and probably won't. She equates things to value and wealth. I don't.

I have a few things I value more than almost anything. But, I have gotten rid of stuff I store in boxes just because I hate the idea of moving them once more into another closet or the basement of another home along the way. Why have something in a box when I will never look at it, or use it?

Most of the stuff in the boxes has no value of any kind.

I once dreamed of owning a museum size home that had shelves in every room that housed everything I stored in those boxes so everyone visiting could see. I would invite people over just to look at the stuff I had on the shelves.

In order for me to own a house like that, I would have to have a total net worth of over 100 million dollars, with a steady income to pay for the place.

It just ain't worth it! Why would anyone want to see boxes of half finished blankets? Or some plastic plates, bowls, and utensils?

I have a collection of record Albums from my early years. I used to play them every time I was in my room. I played all of them over and over. Lots of memories there. I would like to take the time to transfer them all over to digital because there are songs there that will be lost. But, will I die if that doesn't happen? Nope!

I found 5 Winross trucks. They were collector items in their day and I got them cheap. 3 of them are a paint scheme that isn't used anymore. The other two are anniversary editions. None of them are worth what I paid for them, and chances are if I listed them on eBay or Craigslist, they wouldn't sell anyway. In the meantime, they are sitting in their original boxes, with their original plastic bags.

My wife has her collection of books. She has text books back to the 1800's from her Great Aunt who was a teacher until she was 85. I would love to have bookcases for them to be displayed, but I don't. So, they will sit in the basement on a shelf collecting dust.

She also has her college books back to 1971. Anyone want to see the amazing differences between computers now and then? A computer text book from 1971 is quite amazing. So, it will sit on a shelf collecting dust right next to the geography books from the 1800's. Even the library doesn't want them.

I gave away an entire collection of National Geographic Magazines last year. We had them stored on shelves in the basement. No one wanted them. A senior lady who was home bound got them. She is making scrap books with them. Cutting the pictures out and pasting them onto her scrapbooks to tell a story. Her scrap books will probably be placed on a shelf in her basement and thrown out when she dies. Sad.

My science fiction book collection went to a young man when neither of my kids wanted them. I gave them to him because I had the memories of every page of every book in my head. I still do. I can even quote from them. But, I can't stand the thought of them cluttering up my basement and not being read and enjoyed. I wish the young man many good memories, and dreams from them. Heinlein lives on!

Now, along with the other stuff, I also took all of my clothing to Goodwill. This was part of my weight loss milestones, but it also proved to me that I can live without them. I have new clothing, but I used the simple concept in the book to replace them. I only bought what I need and they are all variations of the same styles, in different colors. This saves time and money. It also makes it easy to get dressed in the dark since my wife and I have different schedules.

Now, my wife has 7 drawers under our water bed.
She has a pile of clothing on the floor.
She has the whole bedroom closet. I moved my stuff into the studio closet.
She has a chest in the bedroom.
She has a 10 drawer dresser of which I managed to steal 3 drawers for myself.
She has at least 10 boxes in the basement with clothes.
She has two 5 foot high piles of coats on the floor of the basement.
She has the whole living room closet for coats she will never wear.
Shoes? Oh yeah. Lots of shoes.
You can never have too many socks. You can have one too many socks, however.
I'm sure I've forgotten stuff, but can you imagine how cluttered her mind must be to have all this stuff?
I can, because I have gotten rid of my stuff, and I am feeling much better now!

I can't seem to convince her how much better she would feel if she got rid of the stuff and just kept what she needed. Oh well.

I still have stuff to get rid of and I will do this over the next few weeks. I have plenty of time while I plan my next step.

In a nutshell, to simplify your life, is to examine every part of your life, and eliminate the garbage, and do the things that make you feel good about yourself.

• You lose weight, you get rid of the garbage. You learn how to eat in order to keep the weight off, you simplify your life. You give your life meaning again.
• You clean out your abode and you get rid of the baggage in between your ears so you can see what's important and what's not.
  
• You decide what to keep and what to get rid of, and you take control of your life again or maybe for the first time.
  

I have read at least 1500 books, that I've also owned. I kept them in the hopes of passing them down to my kids to read. They read some and decided not to bother with the rest. So, I got rid of the books, but kept the words and ideas in my head.
I will be moving soon, and will probably lose touch with this blog and my other internet contacts because I plan on making major changes.
These changes are visible to me now because I simplified my life. I didn't see them clearly before because of all the junk that was clouding my vision.
My work goes on. I wish my good feelings, my new level of energy, my positive outlook on the future on everyone whoever reads this.
Stay tuned for new and better things for you and me!

Stuff and one book!

My previous post mentioned people's different ways of coping with their baggage and the reality of changing one's habits when it comes to eating.
I was using different people as examples, but not anyone in particular, I was even talking about myself, but I won't tell you which statement apply to any one person, even me!
I am not like the writer who fashions his character after specific people in his life.
My goal was to make myself important, sounding like I knew what I was talking about in a profound, slightly controversial way. I really have no clue. I'm glad I have a spell check, although, that doesn't always help me.
Now to the book:

Here it is!

This book is one suggestion towards making you think, and maybe helping you to kill some of the demons that made you fat in the first place. It has nothing to do with food or eating. So, check it out and maybe it will help.
I read it back when it first came out, and it helped me. Now, my life is less cluttered, and my wife is the pack rat.

I am starting to work on another seminar idea based on something I learned from a fellow DJ a few years back. I bought his CD series and enjoyed it immensely. It has information in it that applies to life, not only the DJ business, so I am going to adapt it to present to the Weight Loss support group in Lancaster this fall. I will also post the transcript here if I ever write it down. It should be tough for an ADDer to do that. It has been in the past, but I keep surprising myself.

This Sunday, we are having a Support group picnic. We will have covered dishes for everyone to enjoy, games, contests, and a "live" DJ.
As opposed to a "dead" DJ.
The live one is me! I agreed to play music for the folks, so they can see me as something other than a big mouth with an attitude.
I keep hoping they will hire me to coordinate the different events and the support group meetings, but I haven't asked them yet, and I'm not sure I qualify because of my lack of formal education.
I might just present my case someday soon.
Or, I might just pack up and head for warmer weather for the winter.

Commenting on other's work.

I read several blogs, and scour Facebook from a combination of fascination, Voyeurism, seeking knowledge, loneliness, and boredom.
I know some things from experience, some things from reading and studying, and some things from faith. There are other things I know from instinct.
But, no matter how much I do know, I don't know everything. I also know that I don't know everything.
I don't know some things because I don't have the brains.
I don't know some things because I don't want to know.
There are things that I don't like, and things I do.
Damn, now I'm starting to sound like some writer who's name I can't spell.
Facts:

• No matter what pill you take, there are side effects. There is not one pill made that doesn't have side effects. Not one. Ever. You have to decide whether those side effects are worth it.
• All surgery have the same problems. They all have side effects. You have to decide if it is worth it for you. My surgery to me, is worth it. I am willing to make adjustments in order to live my life well.
• Not everyone is happy with my surgery. I am referring to my many friends, acquaintances, and family. Too bad. That's the way it goes. I know that there are people around me that aren't happy with my political views, or my religious views. Again, too bad.
• My ears will always have hair in them, and I hate it. I just wanted to see if anyone was still reading this.
• All fat people have psychological baggage. Some, more than others. I know this because almost everyone has psychological baggage.....almost everyone. I haven't ever met anyone who didn't.
• We all design our own coping mechanisms. I have a whole slew of them. Right now, I am fighting many of them, as well as my phobias, dislikes, hates, and incompetence. I manage to hide most of these, much of the time.

Now, some folks think they can get rich quick on the Internet. I personally believe they can, if they do what it takes to get there.
It's not for me.
Some folks read tons of books on a subject they are interested in, in order to prove that it won't work. They study every angle, and do their best to prove it wrong, and then aren't satisfied until they tear it apart. I've seen this and wonder if they would only be happy if they failed to continue to lose weight after Bariatric surgery.
Some folks are terrified of the pain and suffering involved in any surgery, not only Bariatric. The truth that I've found, is this surgery, when done with a team approach, and education, is the easiest part of the journey.
Some folks don't qualify for the surgery with their insurance company, and still manage to lose weight. I know one guy who has lost over 100 pounds so far, and is so motivated by the support group meetings, that he comes back every month. I am inspired by his decision to lose weight and keep it off. He used the surgery, and didn't even have it! Wow!
So, it all comes down to balance.

1. Knowing what you want.
2. Planning for it.
3. Learning everything you can about the subject, and deciding what is fact, and what isn't.
4. Doing it.....your way. No one else on earth is like you. You decide how to do it.

Another Milestone

This week, I passed another milestone.
My housework and yard work became housework and yard work.

That is, I can now do the lawn and other things in the same day without wearing myself out.

I have done a workout in the morning, followed by cutting the grass, and then went in to shower, followed by doing my other chores, all in the same day.

I am a househusband for those who didn't figure this out before. I do the house work and cooking, and everything else because I am home more often than my wife.

She brings home the main paycheck. We have done this for years, and although she wants me to change that, I am not able to for several reasons that I will tell a shrink and leave you to figure out on your own.

So, right now, I am at the point of finishing everything I started at the beginning of the summer.

• I have to paint the stairwell in the basement, and then move the exercise equipment to where I want it. I can now run all the way around the basement without tripping over boxes, old furniture, and trash. And, I can see because the walls are freshly painted. No more dark corners.
• I have a pile of furniture on the porch that was formerly in the house waiting to be picked up and taken to the dump. I already got rid of the old refrigerator, water heater, and washer as reported in an earlier post.
• My studio is set up after being painted. I am in the process of trying to sell some music equipment in order to downsize my collection. I need a smaller sound system so I don't have to carry the large one.
• The back bedroom is ready for my wife to paint and design as soon as we get out of debt.
• I am working on a debt elimination program which should be ready by next week. Thank you Dave Ramsey. Unless I win the lottery this weekend, he is my last hope before bankruptcy.

When this post is published, things will have changed again, and I hope to have moved forward again. I hope your Labor day holiday is a good one.

BTW, just FYI, and off topic:
Today, I covered 130 miles in my school bus to transport 7 kids to and from school.

Yippie

I am typing this without my glasses, so please excuse any typos.
Yesterday, I went to help my friend move some of his heavier furniture into storage. He is cleaning out his home with plans to sell it.
His stairway is a bit off balance and is hard for me to negotiate, and most of his stuff was upstairs. I got a workout, and worked up a sweat.
We had to maneuver around a few corners too in order to get the bookcases and other things down the stairs, but we managed.
It all took about an hour and a half to load the van. Then we took it to the storage area and dropped it off.
We took a second trip to finish things off.
Then, I came home and asked my wife if she wanted to take a ride on the Helix with me. For the second time in her life, she said yes.
So, we headed for Middle Creek and their visitor's center, which was closed. But, that didn't matter since we wanted to see the butterfly/hummingbird area out front.
The bees were there too, but they were too interested in pollinating the flowers to bother with us.
Got some great pictures, but not of the hummingbirds. They were too small and fast for us to catch. They look like big bees to me.
I did all that yesterday. Wow!

Evolution of the support group meetings.

Last night, I did the "Ham".
I got up in front of everyone at the support group meeting and did a warm up act for the presentation while they were doing food prep.
The new office has a great room with state of the art audio/video equipment, including a number of HD TVs, a sound system with wireless mics, a large projector type screen, and a camera aimed at the professional kitchen.
They were supposed to have a grocery store come in and do a demo about fresh veggies and how to prep them, but they cancelled out at the last minute.

So, while they were scrambling with food prep, I did my thing.

The crowd was just as huge as usual. I keep thinking of how hard it is to get a support group together and here we have over 100 people on a regular basis. I should sell stuff there. I wouldn't have to work!

The meeting went well after I got off the stage. The camera allowed everyone to see what they were doing and the food got passed around for folks to try. Stuff was good. Squash, and some other stuff were sprinkled with toppings and baked. The aroma was worth the price of admission (free?).

I helped out where I could and when we broke into groups I wandered around and talked with lots of people about my experiences so far.

We have a covered dish picnic coming up and hope to see another huge crowd!

In October, we will be dressing up in our fat clothes to show off what we lost. I told them I could give them all a thrill by not wearing anything under them, but they said no for some reason.

Oh well, life is good!

Forced to write, yeah, right!

I am not being forced to write. I like to write. What I am starting to not like is to sit still.
I never thought it would happen, but I really don't like to sit down anymore than I have to. If you haven't experienced this feeling, I hope you do sometime in your journey to lose weight.

I went to my workout today and met the new workout guru. He isn't as pretty as the lady workout guru, but I am not there to oogle the pretty female.

I started out on the treadmill to warm up. Someday, I'll be able to learn how to work the damn thing. I decided to try a hill climb program, so I entered all of my specs as requested, and stated that I didn't want to go above 3.5 mph jogging or a 6% grade. I have to walk fast or jog at 3.1, and have no problem climbing hills now. A 6% grade is steeper than an old locomotive can travel. Most of them won't go over anything more than a 4%. I know this because I walk rail trails here and they are set to no more than 4%.

So, the machine starts out at a very slow pace. I increase the speed to 2.5 which is a slow walk for me. I want to warm up, so I start out slow and work up to faster speeds. Anyway, I do this for about 5 minutes, and the machine beeps to tell me it's going to change. I glance down and the machine tells me it is going to increase my speed to 4.5 mph. I exclaim "holy s***" and plant my left foot on the side rail followed by the right foot.
I then go to shut the machine down and start over. In the meantime, the gurus hear my exclamation and come running to help. How many gyms do you know of that people will run over to help you? Not any that I've been to.
Anyway, I reset the machine and end up doing 30 minutes at speeds from 2.5 to 3.5 at the same grades as listed above. They have an automatic heart rate monitor on the handles, so I watched my rate go up to 147, and I kept it there for most of the workout. I varied things to make sure I kept everything where I wanted it.
After I finished that, I did weight machines. I am working to help the gurus rewrite the papers so I can record my results better. The way it's set up now is not very efficient. This makes it difficult to see improvement.
I next went onto the elliptical and ran that for 10 minutes, again keeping my heart rate up around the 147. Since I had already done a lot, keeping my heart rate up didn't take as much effort.
Oh yeah, after each machine, I walk around a bit. If you haven't felt the effects of re-gaining your footing, you should try the moving machines! I walk around until my legs work again. Until then, I walk very carefully...and funny!
Looking back to last month, I have made much progress. I couldn't do more than 5 minutes on the elliptical, and no more than 10 minutes on the treadmill at much slower speeds.
I feel good!

The day before work

I have been enjoying the freedom to work at my own pace at things I want/need to do this summer. It's a privilege not too many people have, except for teachers, school bus drivers, and the rich. There are others also. I just don't feel like thinking too much about them right now.

So, I have worked on my body and mind. My mind is worthless (not really) and my body is improving. I don't know how much I have lost in weight since the beginning of the summer, just what I have lost in total. 100 pounds.
I have been stuck at 205 most of the past month. I have started working out, and still do more aerobics than weight training. I plan to do both in excess soon.

So, tomorrow I start driving the school bus again. Actually, on Friday, I started by picking up a student who is lucky enough to go to a private school. It is a very progressive school with a college type curriculum. The student seems smart and is very friendly.

I started out the beginning of last week with one route, as I said in a previous post, and managed to get back to a small bus that I can take home with me.

I now have 3 schools that I will cover for my district. I still don't know how many kids I will transport, or where they all live. I ran the route yesterday (Saturday) to see the houses on my list so far. I found out one thing that I don't really like, but it will be OK I think. That is, I have to go past the private school in the afternoon and take all the other kids home, and then go back to that school to pick the student up. This means a lot more travel and more time. If I could get them all at once it would be fine. But, the school doesn't let out until much later than the other schools. Now on the positive side, the private school has longer breaks during the year than the other school, so there will be times when I won't have to go at all. And that school lets out a whole month earlier than the other schools.

In addition to 3 different schedules that I have to coordinate, I have to be aware of the weather. If the home school district has a delay due to weather, then I delay. If they have off, I have off. This may cause some friction with parents, but I don't have nay control over that. You see, the home school district is quite a distance from the area I will be going to and that means the weather conditions may be different.

So tomorrow, I will go to 2 of the 3 schools to and from with 2 students I think. The other school doesn't start until September 9th due to construction at the school. They will also go until at least the middle of June since they start so late.

The fun part will be checking the schedule every morning to make sure which kids I have and what schools. Then, I hope I don't screw it up. Oh, I forgot to mention one student will be here for two weeks, and then has two weeks off. If you can imagine juggling with an odd number of balls, you might get a handle on this.

Did I also mention that some students will only ride home with me? I will drop them off at someones house because I won't have time to take them all the way home.

But, I get to take the bus home with me, so that is good!

Next:
I am starting to get serious about getting out of debt so I contacted someone to help me do that. I may talk about it in depth another time.

Next:
I am reading more recipes and am going to try something with beef or chicken in a stew that doesn't use breading, beans, or potatoes as it's filler. I want to be able to crock pot it so I can store it. I bought more containers for that purpose. Our new freezer in the fridge has more storage so I will be able to mix and match stuff. One of the ideas is something Mexican in nature, such as a taco mixture with veggies.
One more thing is that I decided to look into alternate meat, such as Buffalo. I've heard that it is good and lower in fat than regular beef.
If you have any ideas, let me know.

I left the stairwell for last in my painting project, so sometime this week I will finish it. I also have a few more things to move from the back bedroom and the closet. I could use one of those organizers for the closets, but don't have the funds just yet, so I will leave that alone.

And, I am still in the planning stages for my guitar/voice project. I think I will work on that too.

Other than that, I need to lose 10 more pounds this month and 40 after that before I can say I'm finished with weight loss and move to maintenance.

That's it for now.

To School with me!

So, after a little over a year, I am down 100 pounds from where I started, and my life is back.....again. UGH!
I was told about a month ago that my school bus was now considered a van, and that they could bring in anyone off the street to drive it with little or no skills, and a driver's license. Because of that re-assessment, they lowered my wage below that of a lowly school bus driver. This made it almost impossible for me to continue driving and still survive.
Now, on Monday of this week, my boss called me and asked me if I would want to drive a "real" school bus, because one of the regular drivers had knee surgery and couldn't continue.
We don't get paid for learning a new route, or taking the bus out for a test run. We don't get paid for a lot of things like supplying our own cleaning supplies, or a trash can for the bus. We also don't get paid for time to and from home to work, or for fueling up the bus on our own time. But, it's a great job and it all balances out in the end. There are many days where we get to go home early and they pay us full anyway. We also get lots of extra "gifts". The one I don't participate in anymore is that they take us out to lunch or breakfast. I have a series of sweatshirts, umbrellas, chairs, coats, hats, and other do dads from the company.
Are you following so far, or did I just ramble right off the subject? And what does all this have to do with weigh loss surgery?
So, they offered me the school bus run and I took it.
I took the knee surgery driver out on Tuesday to show her where the van goes. It's a long drive and covers a large area, so we took the van she is going to drive. My van...the one that I put 30,000+ miles on the past two years. It was fun.
Yesterday, I drove my new 84 passenger bus on a fun cruise to see how it fit through the back country roads of Conestoga Valley. Past all the road apples, and buggies, Amish farms, etc.
I hammered out some of the kinks in the route, and came home to write it all down in a turn by turn form to follow when I started this coming Monday.
This morning, I went out again to work on a new elementary run that they changed last night. It sometimes gets confusing. They did the change because one of the other buses was out of position and needed more time to get to their next destination. So they swapped me. It worked out better for me because my new ending point was closer to the garage, allowing me to get home sooner than before.
Still there?
So this morning I was finishing up the turn by turn and getting ready to hard copy it, when they called to offer me another run where I get to take the bus home with me.
Now, after all this, I am back to where I started at the beginning of the summer. I have a full schedule on a "real" bus that I can take home with me. This saves me 50+ miles a day of driving my car, and allows me more time to goof off, I mean, work at losing weight.
They also benefit because I have a turn by turn that I will send them that will save the new driver of the big bus from having to do the route.
I am also covering a new area this year, so I will be happy to have something fresh.
I think if this had happened before my surgery, I would have jumped off a bridge from stress.
For now, it's just another day I don't have to be locked up in a cubicle.
I get paid full, am outside, and having fun driving kids around in the country.
Life is Good!

Prayer and meditation

I do one, but can't do the other.

I have been working out for three weeks now. I am making progress, as I expected. The problem, is that things at home are becoming much more difficult too.
I have so many things to do that are just so much busy work that my mind is racing, and I'm not sleeping well.
I must be eating more too because my weight has gone up a few pounds. It could be water because I am drinking a lot with the heat and exercise.
I covered two miles this morning as well as doing about a half dozen upper body exercises. I hadn't slept since 2am so I was/am tired.
I vacuumed after I got back from my school bus job. I had to learn my new route and try out the new bus. I was on the road for about two hours.
I am happy to have a full size bus because that means I am back on the payroll and don't have to worry about lack of money.
So now, it's 85 and humid and I'm going to go out and push the lawn mower.
I need to play my guitar too, but I will be too tired when I finish. I will probably take a nap.
So, I think I've proven that extra exercise doesn't help my mental state. I feel like I'm on the world's fastest roller coaster........zoom!

What a difference.

If you look back as I do at the difference between me in the beginning of this quest, and me now, you will see that I still bitch and complain about things, but I am moving forward none the less. I still have aches and pains, but today I cut the lawn in the morning (9am to 10:30am), then took a shower and headed over to video
"The Howling".
I just got back.
I could not have done those two things in the same day a year ago.
Can you imagine ordering a cup of water in a bar? I did.
Mr. T's is a great place. It's very clean. The sound system is Bose. They have a real juke box, and they get live music and DJs in there on a regular basis.
Today, I went over to support my friends in the band.
They put an old car trailer in the parking lot, and set up their equipment and played.
Check out my Facebook (Look for Lee Feldman) for the pictures. I will put the video on youtube.
The Howling has a myspace page, so you will be able to see the other videos I recorded in a few days. I gave that card to Greg, the guitarist, and he will pick the ones he wants.
We all thought it was going to rain, but it held off and was hot and humid as August goes here in central PA.
So, I spent the better part of 3 hours hanging out, enjoying the scene.
If this was a year ago, you would have been reading about me in the Obits.

Milestones abound

I got up at 3 am. because my mind wouldn't quit last night.
It wanted to make me panic that I had run out of money and was going to be hunted down and shot, or something like that.
So, I got up and walked around. Then, I went online and surfed a bit.
When my wife got up at 4:45 am. , went and did some stuff I needed to do.
I figured I had a full day ahead, so I planned it out. Usually when I do this, I don't get everything done. But today was different. (Yesterday)
I finished everything I needed to do and then some.
I went to the gym at 7. I got back home around 8. I did a good workout and felt awake, but tired.
When I got home, I started in on the freezer and fridge. I pulled the old fridge out after moving all the food to the freezer, and cleaned the floor and walls behind.
Then, I started in on the rest of the kitchen. I had to move quite a lot of stuff, but I finished.
I was going to try to nap and then wait for the guy to bring my new/old fridge, but he called and was heading over, so I waited for him.
It took him about an hour to move the old unit out and the new one in. Our doors are too narrow, so we had fun.
When they left, I repopulated the new fridge after cleaning it and letting it cool down.
Then, I got my butt in gear and went out and cut the lawn.
No, I didn't. I took a nap, and then I cut the lawn. The whole lawn! It was 87 and the humidity was off the scale, so I worked up a sweat. I only stopped once for liquid and to catch my breath.
When I finished, I took a shower, ate, and then headed out to my East Petersburg Day meeting. I got home at 9 pm.
I almost forgot my online meeting, so I logged on and finished that at 10:30.
Man, was I tired!
So, I got to do everything I set out to do yesterday, and I actually finished everything on my list!
That's a milestone for me.
And, I lived to tell about it today.
Thank God I found WLS!

Oh my aching back!

It's from stress, and not physical.
As hard as I have tried, I am still failing.
My refrigerator died today.
So, as I always try to do, I found one from an ad on Craigslist for a relatively small amount of money.
The problem is I forgot that I paid all the bills this week, and I spent money at BJs for food and other supplies today.
When I went to check on my account, I found that I was going to be overdrawn. So, I went to another account and found out I was wiped out there too.
I am hoping BJs doesn't post the bill until at least Thursday. Otherwise, I'll be paying bills with money that isn't there.
I know the government can print money to pay for things they can't afford. Too bad I can't do the same.
I haven't been this poor for a good many years. I've always been able to provide for my family. It's killing me to not be able to keep up anymore.
Anyway, I got a discount on the fridge. I also got it delivered free because the guy is going to take some of the stuff off the porch, such as the washer, and water heater that he can get scrap fees for to recover his costs.
So far this summer, I replaced the Water Heater (I had to buy a new one at full price but installed it myself to save money), the washer ($50), and now the fridge ($100).
Two years ago I got the lawn mower for free. I fixed it up and am still using it. I also bought the washer and dryer before that for $2 total. Yup, that's right $2. I think I got my money's worth.
Now, I need to get myself a full time job to pay off my debt.
I'm trying. I really am.....

Workout?

My Physiologist had a pile of paper for me this morning. She was actually listening to me when I told her I wanted to get rid of the pain in my back by building my muscles.
She gave me a whole list of exercises to add to my routine just for my back.
Since I have a written schedule to keep track of where I am going, this will be fun for me. I can look back and see the progress.
I did schedule Wednesday and Friday already, but will have to cancel Friday because my Wife has a hospital visit and I have to be there for her.
I wish they had a 7 day schedule, and longer hours, but it doesn't look like that's going to happen. I know I can't afford to join a gym, and I won't get the same attention there, so I will have to learn what I can here and take it with me when I can't go anymore.
I doubled what I did last week on the machines, but that really isn't getting me to work up a sweat....yet. I will continue to double what I do, and also try to increase the level of difficulty in order to work up that all important sweat. I did lose another pound or so.
I also found that I had to force myself to eat before going this morning because, I wasn't hungry. That's a strange feeling.

I am also looking for work.

I would like to write a book, but doesn't everyone want to do that?

I started to play my guitar today. I listed 6 songs I would like to try. I got the lyrics online, and will write the chords as a further step over the next few days. The music will come easy for me. I picture the chords in my head. Any that I can't figure out will come to me overnight. I used to lay down and nap when figuring out songs. Just before I would doze off, I would be able to hear all of the individual instruments, and I would know what chords were used. What a way to learn!

And, I wrote some chords down, and hope to remember how I did them (I did some notation, but it isn't technical) so I can repeat them. I think I can write some lyrics to go with them. Who knows? After 55 years, maybe I can really write a song!