Things I don't like to do anymore, and thoughts!

Life under the little top! The circus that was supposed to come to East Pete was caught up in the tornadoes in Western PA last week. They lost their tent and actually had people in it when it collapsed. Several people were injured and one seriously, so they weren't going to show up.
A very astute marketer in another circus was out in Missouri with the floods, and storms, and came back home. They saw the problems the one circus was having, and they contacted the venues they were scheduled for and were able to book themselves instead.
They didn't have much time to prepare but they showed up and did a decent job with what they had. They went over well with the kids, and had large crowds for both shows.
I still don't like circuses, or clowns, but they will be coming back next year with their full show.

Now for some lists:

• I don't like the coffee/protein drinks that come in the little bottles. They look like Starbucks, but they sure don't taste like it! If you are still new to the post party, you would be better off buying an extra large cup of Dunkin Donuts decaf, letting it cool in the fridge for a few hours. Then, add a scoop of powdered protein. I still like chocolate. It really makes your protein taste decent.
• I no longer watch that TV show called "American Pickers" where the guy travels all over in his van and searches through junk piles for treasures that he can fix up and sell. I realized that he is just another form of hoarder, and I am finished with hoarders.
• I am having trouble eating eggs by themselves. It's not because they are hard to digest, or anything like that. It's just that I've lost my taste for them. I can eat them with a salad as hard boiled, but hot eggs... well I need to take a break from them.
• I found out that I don't have any problem eating broccoli now. I hated it before. I have to get therapy!
  

The big thing:
I am getting tired of going to support group meetings. In fact, I am almost finished identifying myself as a post-bariatric patient.
I have had trouble before because after awhile of going to the support group meetings, I became and old "pro". So instead of getting advice about what I am going through, I was offering advice. It was the same advice over and over. I actually followed my own advice, but that didn't help me much.
So now, I am looking to distance myself from anything bariatric in nature, and start thinking of myself as a normal human being with a much smaller appetite.
When I go out to eat now, I have a cup of coffee, or glass of water before the meal. I sip a little and then just let it sit. When they come through to "freshen the cup, I just put my hand over and stop them. Or, sometimes, I just let them top it off. No one knows that I am a post if I don't want them to.

• I started taking CO Q-10 after doing some research and asking the dietitian about it. There are no firm studies that the stuff can hurt you and there are slight indications that it might help. I have this iron deficiency thing, and maybe it will help me absorb more iron to build up my strength again.

• I went to the circus and then that evening we had our concert in the park. The people who play guitar and sing in this area are, for the most part, extremely mediocre. They don't do anything special, and they usually don't play very well. But they do well enough for people to like them. As a guitarist myself, I hate to say it, but I can play circles around most of them. I have been trying to play, and I realized the other day why I won't play. It's because I don't want to play the same old music I played when I was a kid. The trio that played Saturday evening played songs that did just that. They are younger than me, so the music to them is somewhat new. But there wasn't one song they did that I hadn't already played to death.

"The first 300 times I heard the song, it was good. Now, it's getting kind of old." Know what I mean? Wasting away again in Margaritaville!

How many times do you hear a song before you can't stand to listen to it one more time? It doesn't mean that the song isn't good. It just means that it's time to put it on the shelf for another 40 years or so.
Islands in the Steam
Proud Mary
Anything by Van Morrison
Neil Young
Tom Petty

Some of us can apply this thinking to other areas of our lives in the same way. I am now very tired of driving, even though I enjoy driving. But, I've been doing it professionally since 1974. I don't want to do it anymore.

I envy people who can just keep doing something for their whole lives and not get tired of it. It would make life so much easier if I could have started working for one company 37 years ago and stuck with them all the way through. I could retire with a pension, or some savings, and go sleep on a beach somewhere.

By the way, I don't ever think I'll tire of eating the right food in the right way. I won't give up on that at all because there are so many different ways to prepare food, and I now have my health back so that I can complain about everything else!

• I still enjoy my solitude here. There will be a time when I hope to have someone to share my thoughts with again, but maybe we can keep separate residences?
• I set up my stereo this weekend and will be playing some of my old records looking for new songs (for me) to play. The last time I listened to records was in 1981, so it's about time to play them again. If I could stop driving professionally for another 30 years and start up again, I think I would get some enjoyment from it again, but I don't think you'd want to ride with me!
  

I now know some of the reasons why I can't play my guitar, and I will be confronting those "demons" directly. It's a process that is ever changing for me. I don't feel the way I did last week, and I hope to feel differently next week until I start making money playing guitar and singing.
I want to sing all new songs. I want to write some of those songs. I want to record them and I want to perform them in front of people.
By the way, I hate snakes!

Life is Good!

Memorial Day weekend

It's 95, (but it's a dry heat!). October, 2005 in Las Vegas. We decided to take a walk around out hotel. We went around back of Excalibur, then next door to Luxor. The mountains in the distance were beautiful, and the hotels were stunning too. Donna was hot and tired here, but happy to be outside.
That's my son in the striped shirt. He wanted to see the pool, and the hot females. I did too. Unfortunately, all we say were normal, every day people. The pool was only about two feet deep, and boy was the air hot! BUt, it was a dry heat!
Shona and Eric got married out in the desert near the place where they tested the moon rover. It was an amazing place. I was over 300 pounds then, so I didn't feel too good in that dry heat!
This is a reflection off Luxor (the pyramid) of the Excalibur. I was lucky to get this shot.
These pictures were found by me on a disc that I had given to my wife. She had taken it to work to show it off. It came home in a box after she died.
Now, for the rest of the story:

With my fatigue problem, things are moving slowly. But, I do need time to work through problems and to finish up things I've been doing the past year, so I'm not depressed about it. I just slog along slowly but surely.
I didn't get invited out for the holiday, and that's a good thing because I just don't have the energy.
I asked a friend to help me move a drafting table up from the basement Friday night, and I transferred the TV and accessories over to it. It's a very old piece and has no real function, so I thought I would give it one. It allowed me to center the TV in the living room, and it raised it as well. Now I can get a big dog and not have to worry about seeing over him/her when she wants attention! I will also be able to organize the room better now. Before, the TV was in the corner, and this interfered with the organization of the room.
I will be working on setting up the stereo too. I have a turntable, old AM/FM receiver, power amplifier, and speakers that I've been wanting to do for some time now. I should be able to shake the paint off the walls when I finish.
I also want to drill a hole in the floor and send all the cables through the basement instead of running them across the carpet. I didn't get to that yet, but might just do it this weekend sometime.
I rotated the mattress today. It is a California King size, which is much bigger than a regular kind. This sucker is very heavy! The handles ripped on one side after I tried unsuccessfully to flip it over. It is very hard to flip because the ceiling fan gets in the way. It will take two people to flip and I didn't feel like asking my friend to come over again. I managed to vacuum both sides of the mattress as well as the base of the bed. I changed the sheets. The whole job took over two hours because of this damn fatigue.
I relived some memories in the basement this afternoon by going through the last pile of boxes. There were rolls of contact paper from when my in laws lived here (pre-1992). That stuff has lost all semblance of usefulness, yellow with age, and sticky from the glue running.
I found old Christmas cards, lots of useless pens, some novelties given to my wife from her various customers over the years. Most of it went into the trash because they no longer worked.
I turned on the AC this weekend too. Today (Saturday) it was on all day, but yesterday, I only ran it at night. My brick house collects heat during the day and gives it back at night. I wanted to get ivy or some other clinging vines to cover the wall where the sun beats down ruthlessly, but Donna didn't like that idea. I think I might just do that this year.
So, there are still many things that have to be done here, and I'm looking forward to completing them, but I am also enjoying the journey.

• Ugh, more painting.
• I need to get the carpets cleaned. Whatever I end up doing, I won't put any more money into replacing anything until I am sure I can stay here. Or should I say until I'm sure I will stay here. So, a good cleaning is all I'm willing to do.
• The porch still needs to be finished.
• We will be having a heat wave this week, so I will probably not go out and prepare the mulched areas for planting. I had everything pulled out last year, and covered the area with heavy plastic and mulch to kill anything so I could start new. I need to pull the plastic up and do some work to the ground before deciding what I want to do.
• I still have a bunch of furniture, and other things I want to line up, take pictures of, and sell or throw away. I'll whittle away as time and energy permits.
• I have to go job hunting. I have my blood work scheduled this week, and a colonoscopy/endoscopy scheduled for the day after I finish driving, so any job would have to wait until after that (June 22).
• My guitar has been played, but not as much as I want. I have been wanting to write out a business plan also to try to see if I can move towards working for myself.
• After a long walk this morning (Monday, Memorial Day), I decided to not spend any more money on the house, except to finish up what I started. I still need a few curtains, and maybe some more (ugh!) paint, but I'm going to leave the re-carpeting until I am working full time again. I had considered writing down a list of things that have to be done, but I already have lists all over the place.
  

Life keeps going forward and that is good!

Setback, but a move forward. I'm not Superman!

Get a Dunkin Donuts extra large coffee in the morning.
With 2 sweet and low.
With cream
Add one small pump of Mocha (yes, I do add this), if you can trust the counter person. I do watch them.
Make sure it's hot!
As you sit in your school bus waiting for the time to catch up, and after an hour is up (an hour after your meal, remember?) Take a sip.

Yummy!

As you drive and come to traffic lights, stop signs, or as you pick up your kids, take another sip.

When you get home, you still have quite a bit left in the cup, so put it in the fridge with the lid on of course.

Repeat again tomorrow. By that afternoon, after you finish with the kids, you have two cups left in the fridge with cold coffee.

Combine the two cups. Add two scoops of protein powder (is there any other flavor but chocolate? I think not!), a little extra decaf (cold) to fill the cup. Stir thoroughly, replace the lid, and enjoy! You get your liquid, some great cold coffee, and a protein boost.

Life is good!

Hey Larraine! I have been following your journey even though I haven't commented on your blog. I wish you luck. I can understand your frustration. I wish I could tell you there is a lesson in all this, but I don't want to be shot. I think you will survive. I'm rooting for you!

Next:
I had a bit of a problem that I couldn't solve myself. I sometimes wish I were Dr House so I would know what was wrong and could fix it myself, but I'm not even close. I do have better bedside manner than him!

I thought it might be a bit of depression catching up with me, but this was different. I know I've had problems that I couldn't do anything except live with them, but this really knocked me for a loop.

• I've been experiencing fatigue. I just thought it was because I haven't been sleeping well, but it just kept getting worse.
• I do get low blood sugar from time to time, but that is usually fixed quickly with a sugar pill, or eating something. It felt different.

I went to my grand daughter's birthday party Saturday, down in Maryland. I slept well the night before, and felt good going down there. I played with some of the kids, and had a good time. I left and headed back up feeling a little tired, but still OK.
I got home, took a nap, and then headed back out to York to see my friend play for a benefit party. I stayed until 8:30pm and then headed home.
On Sunday, I felt like I had run a marathon. I had no energy. I wasn't sore or anything like that, I just didn't have anything left. I forced myself to go out in the morning to BJs to get supplies, and then later in the evening to the supermarket. The rest of the day was spent watching TV because I had no energy.
I have been wanting to go job hunting, but I was worried that I wouldn't be able to work because of this crazy fatigue. I thought I was just getting old, but how could I take a job when I couldn't even work two days in a row?
So, today, I finally decided to call the dietician at my Bariatric center. It takes a lot for me to make calls like this, so I went for a walk to build up courage.
I made the call while on the walk, and told the guy what was going on. He checked last year's blood work results, and asked me how much iron I was taking. I told him I went from one pill a week to two. They are 18mg each. He told me he thought it might be anemia, and suggested moving this year's blood work up a month, and increasing my iron intake to a daily pill.
I had read of this problem somewhere else, but I can't remember where. I never thought it would happen to me. But, I need to get my energy level back up. If I use up vitamins and minerals like this, I won't be able to function very well in the work place. I don't want that.
I need to be alert, awake, and able to work in order to feel good about all this.
So, I started to increase my iron as of today. Let's see what happens.

On a side note, I started eating Fiber One cereal to increase my use of wheat and gluten in prep for a Celiac test. The dietician ruled that out as a cause of fatigue.

Iron can cause constipation, but I have not had that problem at all since I increased my fiber. In fact, I feel much better than I have in a long time.
Now if only I can win the lottery....

Living in the past, looking for the future, now!

My First custom made Amplifier. A Weber "Larossa", built by Jamie Thompson.

My First custom made guitar. Dave Pushic Custom. The top is Purpleheart, the sides and back are various types of Maple. The fretboard is Pau Ferro. All gold plated hardware, and no plastic anywhere on the guitar.
Joyce and Lee. My duo from 1972. I am holding the Gibson SG I spoke of below.

When I was a kid, I had to play the guitar. I started out by playing a badminton racket until I got my first guitar. It was a $5.00 import from Japan, which meant it was junk. But, it was a guitar and I couldn't let go of it. I got a set of light gauge strings on it so I could play chords. The action wasn't adjustable and the neck was warped and I didn't know how to fix that.
Every week, I would learn something new and practice until the callus' on my fingers were like rocks.
I finally saved enough money to get a real electric guitar.
It was a sweet Daphne Blue Fender Mustang. It really was a great guitar for the price. But, I didn't have an amplifier, so the only place I could play it and hear it was in my bedroom where it was quiet.
My father took an old TV apart, and built me an amplifier using the TV's 12 inch speaker, and the super small tube amplifier and mounted it into a box for me. It sounded terrible, but it was an amplifier.
Over the years, I got newer and better sounding amplifiers to improve my sound. The guitar I owned was amazing, and I played it until the frets wore out. I didn't know I could have had them replaced, so I sold it and bought another guitar. This one was another classic, a 1971 Gibson SG deluxe. I had this one modified, and also played it to death. When I sold it, it had a cracked neck, and looked like a truck ran over it from use, not abuse.
The amplifiers I had were all very loud, if nothing else. Their tone ranged from really bad to beautiful, but I never studied them or learned how to make them sound great. I just plugged into them, and played as loud as I needed.

The years went by, and I arrived at a point where I wanted to recapture some of the glory of the past. So, I started out by purchasing things I once had, or getting some of the classic guitars and amplifiers of that time. But, I found out that it wasn't what I wanted. I also found out that it wasn't the instrument, but the musician playing the instrument that makes the sound.

This applies to many different parts of my life.

It's not the instrument, it's the musician.

I now have some of the finest tools ever invented by man.

But, it's up to me to make them work.


Next thought:

I think I've written about this before, but I needed to get it out of me head, so please forgive me for repeating myself.

In the past 5 years, I've lost many people who were close to me. My Father, My Brother in Law, My Wife, My favorite pets (4 cats and 2 dogs), and my big belly. Yes, my belly had a life of it's own.

The only one I don't miss is the belly.

Life is good!

Boxes, boxes, and more boxes! Venting!

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Celiac Sprue again?

I received a call from the nurse about the blood tests I took about a month ago for Celiac Sprue. This is a prep for a colonoscopy/endoscopy I'm supposed to have in June.
The test came back negative. Now this is a surprise because I came back positive when I had my last tests about 4 years ago. I was told I had to stop eating wheat and gluten foods, and go on a strict diet. I lost 27 pounds before my WLS and I attribute some of this to quitting bread, bagels, soft pretzels, pasta (especially pasta!), and cereal.
A diet without these things, makes life much more difficult. After reading, asking questions, and much research, I determined that I could have a slice of pizza once in awhile, as well as a little bit of pasta without ruining my diet, or killing myself.
I have never had symptoms or any outward indication that would lead me or anyone to believe I had Celiac, such as malnutrition, weight loss, fatigue, pain, etc.. All I had was the test results from the doctor and the endoscopy/biopsy results.
So, I cheated a bit, but pretty much stayed away from the gluten/wheat foods.
As time went on, I branched out a bit, but haven't had a bagel in over 3 years! It was shear torture I tell you!
Right now, they are checking to see if it's possible that the tests I had and the most recent one were/are wrong. But, last night, I went out and bought a box of Fiber One cereal (no sugar, 2 grams of protein, and the most fiber you can get in a cereal!) and had a bowl with a packet of sweet and low. This morning, I feel great!
Fiber from wheat is wonderful for the body as far as I'm concerned. I never would have talked about this when I was younger, but now, it is worth it.

• Fiber, the non-soluble kind that you get from wheat germ, absorbs all the liquid that your body considers bad for you. Some call it poison, and it is for the most part, but it's not just that.
• Fiber lower blood pressure because your bowel movements are easier.
• Fiber eliminates cholesterol that we don't need. The body needs cholesterol in order to hold itself together, so the excess we get in an American diet, is reduced by eating the fiber in this form.

There is a need to increase liquid intake when you get fiber because of the extra absorption, but I'm already drinking quite a bit. I will drink more now just in case. I've increased my intake of veggies, but still don't get enough in my diet to replace the wheat/gluten that I cut out a few years ago. The addition of the fiber I ate last night before bed, has paid off very nicely this morning. Like I said, I feel great!

On Saturday at the park, there was a hand made pretzel stand handing out free samples that I politely refused every time she went by. They were very small samples, and probably loaded with fats and sugar to make them taste wonderful. But, they were very small and one piece would not have killed me. The next time I get the chance, I'll accept a sample without fear.

I am still going to stay away from bagels and such, but won't get too upset if I occasionally have a half with some cream cheese and lox.

I bought a half quart of milk, and kept having to throw it out because I just don't drink milk. I will add fiber to my chili for a bit of crunch, and maybe have a bowl of cereal a few times a week. I've been looking for variety in my meals and this will be a welcome addition.
If it works, I should be seeing a decrease in my weight, and should feel better within a week or so. I'll let you know.
Oh by the way, drinking and eating at the same time has been a no no since I had the WLS, but the small amount of milk I add to the cereal was OK last night, and shouldn't cause too much trouble. I used about 1/3 of a cup of milk. I can heat the cereal to absorb the milk if I have to, but don't think it will be necessary.

Ouch!

I had a wake up call tonight at the monthly support group meeting.
I hadn't really thought about it, but they were talking about personal support groups. These are the family and friends who know about your surgery and help you get through the process.
I started to think about it, and realized that the only real support group I've had for my weight loss, was professional. I have had no real personal support.
* My wife, as much as I loved her, never supported me in this journey. She never supported me in any endeavor that I've tried. She died last year, and I've had time to reflect and realize this.
* My Son just abandoned me because I stopped giving him money. He was so caught up in his own personal problems, that he never really supported me.
* My Daughter has been very helpful to listen to me, but really didn't talk to me about my surgery, either before or after.
* My sister is a health nut, and is even involved in physical fitness training, but stopped talking to me for reasons she never stated. I don't know if she was angry with me, or what.

I do have friends who have called me on a regular basis. They are moral support for me. They remind me that I am a human, but they don't discuss my WLS.

So, in the beginning, I was charging along on my own with the help and support of the Bariatric Team, and several psychological counselors. After surgery, I went to support group meetings, and kept all my appointments with the Clinic. I saw counselors on a regular basis. One of them also had the surgery, so I felt she had special understanding of my situation.
I stopped going to support group meetings because I was supporting people rather than being supported. I needed help and didn't know how to go about asking for it. I tried to voice this at several committee meetings, but didn't get my idea across.
So for the present meeting, I was quiet and listened, rather than talked or asked questions because I really didn't have any questions.
I listened to other talk about their support team, the love they received, and boy did that hurt.
I have written a lot about the weight loss surgery on this blog and also through emails and letters I've written to friends, so I really can't say I didn't get support. But it sure feels like I'm really alone.

My surgeon resigned at the beginning of this month for reasons that were hidden by the hospital administration. He has been the main part of the support team for 3 years now, and it's not right for him to leave so soon. This type of surgery requires personal contact with the patients much more so than other types of surgery. This doctor has been very accessible to all of his patients from the beginning. He has patients who have followed him from his previous practice which was outside Philadelphia, quite a distance from here.

Our meeting have always been standing room only. I estimate over 100 people at each meeting, and I believe it would go on for hours if it wasn't regulated. People ask amazing questions and they get answers. That's one of the reasons I decided on this practice for my surgery. Dr. Brader was another reason. This guy invented some of the techniques that are used nationally for other surgery. He is personable, and knows what he is doing.

So, I am going to try to build a new support system by going to the clinic and demanding help. I need to get back on track.

Busy progress, but still a long way to go.

Life keeps moving forward, and my posts don't seem to be about WLS as much now because I am living life again.
Too many uses of the word "life"?

This weekend, I will be doing the East Petersburg first Saturday event. We have a car show. They promise to have around 500 vehicles there. Last year, they had 300+. What a great variety.

I will be playing MC and DJ in between musical acts. There will be food and other stuff too. The weather will be perfect, not too hot, not too cold, and no rain.

I am going to bring my guitar with me and try to get the guts to play a song onstage in between sets. I really want people to see that I am something more than just an annoying DJ/MC.

Saturday evening, after the event, I will be going to Adam's county to support my friends in "The Howling". They were going to break up when one of their key players moved out of the area, but his job fell through so he stayed. They added a really dynamic female vocalist and I've never heard her in person, so I hope I have the energy to make the trip.

I've been cutting the lawn in between rain storms, about every other day. Great exercise, but since I wear flat bottomed shoes so I don't mess up my good ones, my feet have been hurting. It feels like I've been walking on rocks. The feet feel bruised. My chiropractor made some suggestions and I will try them to see if they help.

My diet hasn't changed in the past month but because I am more active, I am dropping my winter weight. I've lost about 4 pounds in the past month. I still have problems running out of steam very quickly, so I have to pace myself. I am still careful in what I eat, but I cheat a bit too.

On the home front: I shredded 4 bags of documents that I found in a bin in the basement. They were old bills from 2002 on back to 1998 or so. I thought I took care of all the papers a year ago, but I was wrong.

I started breaking the old boxes down and will put them out to the curb soon. I've gone through a half dozen plastic bins and started sorting out the "archive" stuff that will go to the family, and the stuff that belongs to me that I want to keep. I will probably borrow or rent a truck to transport all of it at one time down to my wife's cousin who wants all of it. She has lots of storage and since the family history is important to her, this will add quite a bit to it.

I found some old books to add to my collection that I probably won't keep. I got rid of at least 1000 books last year. I had read them all, some of them twice, and now have another 1000 to discard. I either give them away, or throw them away depending on what they are. But, I know that I won't need them ever again.

All in all, I feel as if I've made some real progress clearing things out, or organizing them in order to clear them out. When they are gone, I will feel a bit of relief, some regret, and even sadness since they've been with us for so many years. But, it's time to move on.

I have some friends who want to sell their beautiful Log home. They built the place in order to spend the rest of their lives there, but decided they want to live simpler. They have collected items from all over the world. Their walls, shelves, and closets are filled with physical memories. I could spend hours just looking at stuff there. I can't imagine the amount of work they will have when it comes time to clear all of that away. I know it won't all fit into a smaller home.

To me, the home is the most beautiful place I've ever seen. It isn't much larger than my home, but it's up on top of a hill in a secluded, wooded area. The home is made from Pine logs, and the inside walls are filled with amazing knots in patterns. That's why they call it "knotty pine"! But, over the years they filled the walls with stuff and covered up the fact that it's a log home. If I lived there, I think I would keep it very simple and not cover the walls at all.
There is a huge stone fireplace that goes floor to ceiling in the center of the living room, and they have a bridge going from the two upstairs bedrooms across the other side of the room. The walls upstairs are slanted and give the impression of living in a very nice tree house. Even the doors are not rectangular, but angled. They have a full basement and a chute that goes from the second floor to the basement laundry area.

Outside the house, is a trail that goes all the way around the neighborhood, and they routinely have deer and other creatures walking by.

They have problems in the winter with the angle of their driveway, but that wouldn't bother me too much. A tractor can clear the snow away, and they have a parking area at the bottom if the tractor won't do the trick.

Oh well, I can dream about it, but I don't think buying the place from them will happen.

My next steps will be to make sure I finish what I start and move to the next tasks which will be the (UGH!) painting. I still have to finish the stairway to the basement, the bathroom, kitchen, and new outside walls to the porch. The garage floor could use a re-coating, but I may just scrub it down with detergent and stiff brush.

Life is Good.

Shortening Powder

I was going to attend a course at the Bariatric center called "Back on Track", but I got socked with a huge medical bill. The hospital spends insane amounts of money on an inefficient billing system, and they print up so many useless "informational" brochures, that they have to charge extra for all their procedures. I've harped on this to them and on this blog before, so I won't waste my time talking about it again.
But, a $2000.00 medical bill for a simple visit and 4 tubes of blood is crazy. After the insurance company paid their share, I still owe them $540.00. There goes the money for the course.

In June or July, I will go to the lab to "donate" another 15 tubes of blood for my bariatric checkup. That will cost me another $500 or more, after the insurance covers the rest.

But, as things go, or should I say, as money goes, I will not being able to cover my mortgage soon. So, it may be better to sell the house and move. Said all this before too.

I still feel like I'm moving forward because I'm arranging my thoughts and getting set up for a change.
I just realized how tired I am so I'm gonna hit the sack.
Life is good.

Editing complete. It seems I was complaining quite a bit last night. The truth is that I see such a huge amount of waste in the system. When I was first married 34 years ago, we had Blue Cross/Blue Shield. The doctors back then accepted what the insurance company paid them and didn't bother us with the extra. Now, it seems the hospital is just plain nasty. Every office I go into has piles of useless high quality brochures. They have the internet now, so why bother wasting money on them?
There is also the tons of paperwork required. Most of that is now computer covered, so paper has been cut back on or eliminated.
But, if you look at the doctor's office, you see 15 employees, other than the doctor. They are all there to do paperwork required by the government, or caused by the government. This is one of the many reasons medical coverage is so costly.
I went to a doctor in the late 70's when I was living in Chester County. I had a fever and felt lousy and had no where else to go. The doctor was in his 90's (he died soon after this) and very highly regarded.
This doctor had an assistant with him and a receptionist. He looked at me, asked me a few simple questions, then he took my pulse using his actual hands. He told me he was going to give me pills to help me, and then he said goodbye. The nurse gave me a packet of purple colored pills (not a bottle). These pills weren't even labeled! She told me to take one a day for a few days and I would be fine. They charged me $25.00 for the visit.
The pills were amazing, and I felt better the next day. Now, why can't they do the same thing today?
Nuff said!

Spring has sprang

Notice the violets all over the lawn. They disappear soon and are replaced with dandelions.

After I used the lawn roller last week, that is, the day after, I felt like I was the incredible Hulk!
My muscles in my arms and particularly my torso were so tight. I felt like I could walk through walls! Grrrrrrr!

Every spring, I experience the lousy cold weather, the teasing warm spells that disappear way too quickly. The rain, rain, rain. Monsoon season hits us hard!
Today is the second warm day in the past few weeks. The temps are already at 70 and moving up rapidly. The difference between this warm day and the first is that this one will be followed by another warm day tomorrow. The last one fell away so fast that it made me wonder if I was dreaming. The storms moved through with a tornado warning (we escaped with just rain) and the cold weather returned with a vengeance.

Today, my mind and body want to crawl up on a lounge chair in the back yard and sleep the whole day away in the warm sun.
Instead, I will work on little things around the house.

I installed the screens into the front and back door. This is a strange ritual that I have been going through since we moved here in 1992. The old style storm doors require that I loosen several clamps that hold the window onto the door. Over the years, the clamps have worn and some of them are no longer usable. Today, they have screens that are already on the door and all you have to do is lower the regular glass and there they are.
A few years ago when I was clearing snow from the front walk, I slipped and put my arm through the glass. Winter attire saved me from anything other than embarrassment and anger for doing something stupid. So instead of replacing the glass with glass, I found a place that would do Plexiglas. My Father in law did the back door that way because the dogs he had back then were prone to try to jump through the glass. The nice things about this is I don't have to clean the glass other than to wipe it off. It has lasted for a long, long time.
I opened all of the windows in the house and basement, and turned on the ceiling fans. Hopefully, this will air the place out a bit.
I also took pictures of the outside yard. It has greened up in the past two weeks from all the rain and little sun. The spring bulbs have come up, and some of them are already dead. I have pictures. If I'm here next year, I hope to remove the bulbs to give to a neighbor, and do some more smoothing of the lawn. I'd really like to change the whole look if I can.
I have a pedal board that I need to populate and try out. For my non-musical friends, this is a board that hold effects pedals. Each pedal creates a different sound that should enhance my guitar playing. I will attach them all to the pedal board so I can transport them easily and safely. There are "all in one" pedals that have all the sounds I would need, but they are very complex and I want simplicity. I want to concentrate on my music and not on the gadgets. I was able to choose the ones I wanted and not bother with others I didn't. The board holds all the pedals securely and comes with a carrying bag for easy transport.
I might play after I get it set up, or just go for a walk. The lounge chair is looking mighty tempting.....
So, I will be cutting up Velcro and connecting cables and such while I watch or listen to TV.
Today is a holiday for some folks, and I am not cutting the grass so the neighbors who celebrate Easter won't be disturbed. I really do want to cut the grass today, but I will wait until tomorrow.
I made a list of must do things to do this coming week, and if I accomplish them all, I will be proud of myself. I am still working on my own, but soon will need some help with the bigger stuff.
On a side note, yesterday I bought several Chicken dinners from my fire company. I took all but one down to my daughter's for her to enjoy. I ate one and got a bit queasy. It had too much butter (fat) in it and didn't go down too well. It did taste good however.
My gastric bypass came back to haunt me!

Making more progress

These are Plastic containers, most of which will be sent to my daughter or my wife's relatives for the "archives". They contain memories, but nothing of value other than sentimental. Pictures, old school stuff, maybe some books, etc.
The stuff behind the ironing board (you never know when you might need an ironing board!) are empty tin cans, leftover cups that don't match anything else in the house, a can opener that doesn't work, and lots of stuff that one might need someday. I have been picking at it for two years now. Oh, I have a box of Ball jars for canning. They must be 30 years old and never used. I might set them up for target practice someday. Or not.
All of these cardboard boxes are empty. The plastic containers used to have clothing in them, but now have old blankets that I haven't been able to bring myself to throw away. They are no longer useable. I have a box cutter somewhere, but I put it down and now can't find it. I will get a sharp object and break some of these down over the next few weeks. This area will be completely clear when I finish. Read below for more information.
These are the boxes I have cleaned out the past 2 weeks or so. I am keeping them for now because they are mainly the same size and will be stack-able.
This is the darkroom. If you read my posts from last year, you will know that I had a family from my school bus come over and help me clean it out. This room was full from floor to ceiling, and had little or no room to move around.
The brown bookcase is removable, and I will use it, along with a second one before I finish. If I am able to stay in the house, I will remove everything from this room. All of the cabinets, right down to the wall. I will probably turn it into a bathroom since it is the right size. It already has plumbing. The orange thing to the left is a slide projector, and the gray thing on the floor is a Super 8 movie projector. I also have a Brownie Camera out of the shot. They can be dated back to when I was a kid.

For the full story, read below:

I was watching TV this morning and came upon a show about the 7 deadly sins. I don't usually follow this type of broadcast, but they were talking about "Sloth".
I have heard the word before, but really didn't know what it meant.
They were nice enough to give several definitions, enough so I could get a good idea what the word meant.
Sloth can be laziness, or idleness. It can mean that you lose touch with things that are supposed to be important and you just give up. Depression might be a good description as to how you are supposed to be feeling when experiencing Sloth.
Of course, they went on to say that some believed that a demon was in charge of the sin, and when you gave in to it, the demon inhabited your soul, calling for an exorcism to get rid of him/it.
Well, now that I know about Sloth, I decided to think about it whenever I get complacent.
I don't give in to religious fanaticism, but this term is a good description of how I've felt for a long, long time.
I deserve to be depressed. I lost so much in the past 5 years.
I never gave in to the depression, but it sure has slowed me down.
Now that I've given it a name, I will know how to fight it better.
When I am too tired to keep going, I will go a little further.
I still have to pace myself, but when I know I am just goofing off because I can, I will try to think about sloth and instead of just watching TV or surfing the web, I will get up and do something.
In this post, are pictures of some of the progress I've made in the past month or so.
I started saving boxes. Empty boxes. I am not going to become a hoarder and never get rid of them. I am going to use them to document my progress.
I will caption these pictures above, since I can't figure out how to spread the pictures throughout the post. You will have to read all the way down to here in order to know why I would post pictures of empty boxes.

These boxes represent two things:

1. Purchases I've made to replace broken things. Or, new purchases in the past year of things I've wanted for years but were never allowed to get because the kids came first.
2. I've gone through the boxes, and consolidated, given away, or trashed the contents.
   

The empty box means there was something in it that fell under those conditions.

Some of the boxes were never opened since before 1992. We have moved many times over the years, as I've said before. With each move, we packed things well, but never had time to open some of these boxes. Or, we didn't have anywhere to go with the contents. There may be boxes in that collection that haven't been opened since they were packed in 1976. I'm not sure. We got married in 76, and moved into our first apartment in September of that year. Who knows?

The next door neighbor worked for a company that made boxes, and he brought us a pile of them with Reese's logos on them. There were two different sizes. I liked the smaller ones because they were easier to pack and lighter to carry. Those are from 1988.

When I finish with all my re-packing, I will have several kinds of boxes:

• Worn out or empty boxes that I will break down and trash.
• Storage boxes filled with things that I want to keep. I will try to organize them so they are all close to the same size, so I can stack them.
  
• Storage boxes with things to give to my wife's relatives for their "archives".
• Boxes to give to my kids with things they would want or not.

I took 6/42 gallon bags of trash to the curb last week and this week. This is my battle against Sloth!
I wonder what I will do when I run out of things to trash? At this rate, I won't ever run out!
On a side note, the house that burned down next door has been emptied out. They had a restoration team take everything out of the house. Furniture, clothing, stored items, appliances. They filled up 4 trash bins. These bins are the kind that come on the back of the huge trucks and are dropped on the driveway. They are 6 feet high, about the same wide, and 30 feet long.
I estimate that if I had gotten a bin for my stuff, I could have filled up two of them myself, instead of taking bags to the curb. That wouldn't include furniture or appliances like the washer, dryer, etc.
Last year, I estimate I took at least 3 bags to the curb every week. That would be at least 150/42 gallon bags just last year. I didn't mention the stuff that didn't fit into bags that have gone too.
So, even though I feel like sloth is creeping up on me and threatening to overwhelm me, all I have to do is look at where I was, and where I am now to see that.....
Life is Good!

Breaking records

Well, almost.
I cut my lawn this afternoon, and then went next door and did their lawn. That's the house that burned down last month. The owners haven't been seen since a few days after the fire. They are living somewhere else.
The grass was growing, and I needed the exercise, and then maybe someone would think I was being helpful instead of self centered. In reality, I was being self centered.
I walked over to a meeting tonight at the Borough hall. The East Petersburg Day committee has expanded to become the East Petersburg Event committee. We used to do just one day per year. We would go all out and celebrate the community with a prayer breakfast, parade, 5k run, and then have field entertainment along with live music.
The past few years, we have had changes in personnel and have expanded quite a bit, adding firework in the evening, a Saturday morning farmer's market, and a 1st Saturday concert in the park.
This year, they are going wild. They have something scheduled almost every month all summer long, and a blues fest in October. There is a car show planned, a circus, a fire equipment expo, among many other things.
I feel proud to have been part of the event that lead to all of this. Our community is really shining now.
I will do the MC work for most of the events, and will help out with DJ music and be a stage hand when needed. I'm not sure how I'll fit in, but will be there until I figure it out.
Next month I will be recording with a friend helping out so I can get an idea of what I need to do in order to improve my music. I am hoping I have the energy and will power to write a few songs that have been clogging up my brain.
As far as the kayak is concerned, I will have to wait until next weekend because it looks like it will be cold and rainy all weekend.
I am pretty tired right now. Tomorrow, if I can, I will try to roll the lawn again. The first effort was tough, but seemed to help smooth out the lawn a bit. Maybe this time will do the trick.
More later...

Making progress

If you've ever put a 1000 piece puzzle together without doing the edges first, then you know how I do things.
I roam all over the place, getting things done, but it's usually not what I started out to do. Yesterday, I started out to do the curtain rods in the kitchen, and ended up taking most of the morning because I did so many other things too.
I have many plans and will do them as I get to them, but I don't know when.

I am probably going to be unemployable soon. I feel as if I'm losing my hold on reality.

Despite how I feel, I've made some real progress this past week and I plan to take advantage of the warmer weather to continue to make progress.

When I was fat, hot weather was horrible. My layers of insulation made me overheated all the time. Walking around in nice clothing was a disaster. I was always too hot.

When I got married in 1976, I weighed 155 (5'7") and was active all the time. Working up a sweat felt good because I was comfortable getting a workout. As I gained weight, I didn't have to work as hard to work up a sweat. When I was my heaviest, I sweated all the time, and was out of breath most of that time.
Now, it is a mixed bag because age has been factored into the equation. I am not as fat anymore. I don't sweat as much, as before, but I get tired much quicker than when I was younger. I can forge ahead if I can get some sugar into my system.
I keep hydrated, and it now takes quite an effort for me to work up a sweat. I do get winded, but can keep going for quite some time. I still haven't tried jogging but am getting closer. I walk along at a very brisk pace compared to before.
I walked with a friend on a rail trail this week, and we measured about 3 miles round trip. But, he strolls rather than exercises. So, all in one day, I walked with him, cut the lawn, and then took a second walk of about a mile at my much faster pace. The next day, I crashed. I took a two hour nap in order to start feeling alive again.

But, I am making progress. Today, I took a drive, and stopped off at Muddy Run State park in the southern end of the county. They have a rather large lake. It is very shallow, and they have boat rentals. I found out today that they have Kayak rentals so I spoke with the owner and got enough information to know that I should be able to rent one and be reasonably sure that I won't drown myself by trying my hand at it. There is enough of an area that I can paddle around and still be close enough to the dock in case I get tired. If I want to go for longer trips later, there is plenty of space to do that too. He estimated a round trip at a leisurely pace should take about an hour and a half. It is very scenic too. My wife and kids have rented an electric rowboat there many times.
I wasn't sure how I would feel about going there again because there are so many memories. I can see my two dogs walking with us across the bridge, over the water to the trail. I remember walks around the lake with my wife, although we never quite made it all the way around in one trip. We walked different parts of the trail every time we went.
Muddy Run was a good place for us to stop to use the restrooms and sometimes get something to eat after a nice, long southern drive on a Sunday. We took the kids to the nature center there many times, and fed the geese and ducks too.
Today, after I spoke with the owner of the boats, I went to the other end of the park and took a walk up the hill. It was pretty steep and the few extra pounds I have slowed me down. My jeans are too tight now too, so they really felt uncomfortable and hindered my progress. I got a bit out of breath, but I pushed on to the top. Then, I took my time coming down and around to where I started. The wind was blowing and it was chilly, but the bright sunlight made the day very pleasant. I much prefer looser pants for walking and look forward to when I can wear my shorts again.

This coming week is the Easter holiday, and my bus driving week will be kind of strange with different schools having different schedules. One school has school next Monday due to a snow make up day. The rest are off. I will take advantage of the time off by trying to get more work done on the house as well as getting more exercise.
My diet is back on track, although I still have to become a bit more strict. I cheated a bit this weekend.
Let's see what happens....
Life is good!

When the rain comes...

It went up to 78 degrees or higher yesterday for the first time all season. The temps have been moderate, but colder than I like for quite some time, so it was great to open the windows and get outside for a bit.
I pushed the mower, or should I tell the truth and say the damn thing dragged me around the yard? I actually ran the mower back and forth through the whole yard, even the areas that hadn't started to grow yet. I felt like one of those obsessive people that have to walk up and down every aisle at the market, even though they don't need to. I need the exercise. The lawn was just as rutted and bumpy as I remembered it.

I also did lots of other things. One of them was to go to the dentist to get a checkup and cleaning. I need to get a tooth fixed and scheduled that for the end of this month.
I came home with a stiff neck, so pushing the mower added to that. The stiff neck is from the stress of sitting in the chair and trying to look calm as an adult should look. Doesn't work. It doesn't fool anyone, and my body still tries anyway.

Last night, I went for a walk just to see if that would loosen me up a bit. It did help, but I was a lot slower than I usually am, and I only covered about a mile before I decided to call it quits. Just after I got home, the storms hit.

The house was 79 all day inside into the evening, even with the windows open and the great breeze. I closed all of them except the one next to my bed, and ran the ceiling fans to cool things off. The storms dropped the overnight temp into the mid 50's, so the house cooled down a bit too. I refused to turn the AC on because I had waited all winter for warm weather.

I had some upsetting dreams and it woke me about 2am, so I hit the bathroom and then tried to go back to sleep. I did fall asleep around 4, and the alarm woke me for the first time in a long time. I usually get up 5 minutes before it goes off.

I drove my bus route, came home and was greeted by a friend to take a walk. It was raining lightly, so I grabbed an umbrella, and we headed out through the neighborhood. After one loop, I told him I was sore and we could try again on Friday, and I went in. He is a slow walker, and just starting out, so it's more of a stroll for me than a real walk, but it does get me out and I enjoy his company.

Well, I really was sore and tired. I came in and took a nap, for an hour and a half! I was awakened by a text from my son, otherwise, I would have slept through noon. I guess I was tired.

The roller coaster continues.

I decided tonight that I was going to gather up the ingredients I need to make another batch of chili. I will use red kidneys this time, along with ground beef and hot sausage links. I cut the skin on the links and pull the sausage into balls and cook them that way before adding them to the mix. I have lots of frozen veggies (spinach, mixed vegetables, and broccoli) along with my tomatoes and spices, so it should be a great combination. I will start cooking tomorrow.

My goal over the next 2 weeks, as far as eating is concerned, is to eat high protein meals made by me and to save the microwave food for times when I am too tired. I would like to get back to basics at least for a little while. It may get a bit monotonous eating the same things all the time, but I did it before, and I want to lose what I gained over the last year, and then continue on to my original goal.

I went down to 202 (my lowest weight post) and am now up around 225 (gained since last year). If I make it to 202, then I want to at least break the magic number of 200. I have pants and a belt I bought that won't fit me until I get below 200 and I hate to waste good clothing.

Unless I get up at 4:30am every morning, I don't have time to make eggs with Canadian bacon as a meal, and oatmeal by itself is not a meal. It lowers my blood sugar unless I eat some protein first. I don't eat cereal because of the celiac, although I do cheat now and again with other meals.
So, I usually make up a microwave "steamer" meal. I eat the protein in the meal first as I'm supposed to, but the meals aren't the best thing for my diet.
So, lunch and dinner will be my own cooking (mostly pre-cooked) and breakfast will have to be worked out. Anyone want to eat chili for breakfast?
I see the Bariatric doctor in July, so I should have time to get back on track by then, along with the help from the "Back on track" program that I start next month.
In the meantime, I am still using walking as my main exercise, and painting, cleaning, and fix up to supplement. I plan to start jogging in bits and pieces during those walks, and gradually expanding my distance.
My personal goals are to investigate warmer weather for this fall and hopefully into the winter so I can be outside as much as possible all year round. I still hope to play my guitar for a living.
Let's see what happens next... Life is Good!

Falling behind

The Back on Track program starts in May, but I need it right now.
I'm falling behind in many things. Oh yes, I am making progress in many areas, but I am getting lazy, or should I say that I am giving in to my laziness.
I am almost 30 pounds up now from last year. I started gaining the weight when my wife got sick. I was hell bent on being selfish and just working on my own personal gains (or losses) when she told me. I lost it. I started eating processed food, and not walking or exercising.
Later, I used my energy on cleaning the house which may have involved some physical labor, or weight lifting, but for the most part was just simple grunt work. It required just plugging away until I got too tired, or bored, or was finished. I should get into the gym, or start my long walks, that I have been planning for a long time now.
So, now, I need to get back on track. I am on my own here, and I am not doing what I want, even though there is no one here to stop me but myself.
I see myself failing, even though I am doing things other may not have been able to do.
I try to see myself succeeding, but I am so tired, scared, and confused.

The world has always spun way too fast for my tastes. Too many things are going on, and I can't stop watching them, or wanting to learn about them.

All of my skills are self taught, with a few minor lessons reading, watching TV, or from watching my father when he used to work. I can do things if I concentrate, but there are some things that are beyond my abilities or knowledge.
So, I walk around the house, dressed up in my ADD, and do things. As I clean out one room, I find things that don't belong there, and I take them to another room, where I do something else, until I finally get back to the first task a few minutes later.
I am a fan of organization mainly because I don't have any of it.
So, every room in the house has some thing finished, and some not.
I tried taking Ritalin to stay on track, but it gave me the shakes and I couldn't get anything done other than sit at the computer and write. The problem there is my hands shook making it impossible to type more than a few letters before making a mistake and I had to go back and correct that mistake.
Right now, I am typing this because my cordless drill died and needs to be recharged. I managed to get the computer room cleaned up, the old curtains removed and trashed. I took all the hardware off the windows, and got 2 of the 3 brackets installed before the battery died. When I finally finish this window, the curtains that have been there since at least 1990 will be gone. That has to count for something.
I spent too many hours sitting in front of the TV this week. I kept looking at all the things that needed to be done, and the things that have to be done on a regular basis, and didn't do much of them. I did all the normal things like dishes, and laundry, but the floor in the back bedroom still has glue on it. This room has glue on the floor too. I think if I started doing both rooms today, I could finish them by next weekend, if the fumes didn't kill me first.
I have to cut the grass, either today or tomorrow. I have not done that yet. It's not really long, just uneven. The first cut of the season is always the most rewarding. It makes the lawn look good. With all the rain we had, you would think the grass would be longer, but it isn't time to wake it up yet. Tomorrow, the temperature is set to go over 80 for one day, so the grass will pop up after that. I like pushing the mower, even though it is busy work. I can put my mind in neutral and just walk back and forth with my ear plugs in. I measured it after my WLS and it came out that I was walking almost 4 miles when I finished. It involves lots of stopping and turning, so the aerobic benefits aren't there, but the physical is sure there. My yard is bumpy. My ankles sure get a work out! I was going to try to get a roller to level out the yard, but didn't yet. Another thing to do....
I took out 4 bags of trash from the garage this week, along with some larger pieces that the trash men were nice enough to take along with them. I bagged some things that shouldn't have been bagged, but I just wanted to get rid of it without having to take it to the dump myself.
I have several cans of paint that I have to take over to the hazardous waste site sometime.
I have several places to work on. I will go down to the basement soon and get rid of more stuff. When I leave here, I want to take as little as possible.

I think I allowed my ADD to lead me through this post, and I'm going to leave it alone for now.

Writing it all down

Last night, I went to my first support group meeting in almost a year. I did go to one other meeting right after my wife died, but haven't been back until now.
The lady speaking was a former nurse, who is now working for Bariatric advantage, which all the WLS people should know about by now.
The interesting thing about this lady was, she is also a post op WLS person, almost 9 years out!
I actually learned some things from her that I didn't know before.
It is interesting about how different parts of the country, different doctors, and teams have their own ideas about how things should be done. I was under the impression that many of them were in agreement about procedures.
As far as I know, there are about 25 different types of surgery for weight loss. They used to call it stomach stapling, but over the years, they narrowed things down to two types of surgery:
1. Lap band
2. Roux en Y

Now, some doctors are opting for a third type of surgery. She only mentioned it in passing, so I'd have to do some research to find it, and I'm too lazy to do that. I imagine it is listed on the Bariatric Advantage website if you want to check it out. You can go from there.

They are also talking about doing a similar type operation just to cure diabetes. We all know that our type II diabetes is essentially gone after our surgery. The doctors are talking about the operation just for that and not weight loss. Interesting.

When I walked in last night, I felt like a rock star. I got more hugs than I've had in years. Many of the people there knew about the ordeal with my wife, and expressed condolences. I like those type of condolences!
One difference between going to a regular meeting and a WLS support group meeting, is that everyone changes, and you have to try to recognize people every single time. They all lose weight. They all get into better shape than the last time you saw them. Wow!
We wear name tags when we get there, and have colored ribbons based on how much we lost. The pre ops want to hang out with the post ops to find out all their secrets, so we become celebrities the farther out we are from our surgery. I should become a saint or prophet next year! :)

The practice has changed too. They have an amazing support team in place, and they are all becoming very good at what they do. They started out good, but have smoothed out many of the problems.

* They now have a pharmacy of sorts. I can get everything there from vitamins, to protein bars. They have all the stuff they recommended that I used to have to search for. I bought two boxes of Strawberry short cake Pure protein bars last night. I haven't seen them anywhere else. And, they were reasonably priced. I will be calling them and ordering everything I can next month ahead of time.

* They now have an in house shrink. She will be holding a class that I will probably attend soon, called "Back on Track". It's a 10 week course, and you already know what it's about from the title. It's made for post ops that are 3 or more years out.
I had heard about this program last year, but it wasn't available to civilians. The counselors were still learning about it. I hope it helps. I need some help right now.
I don't know if the insurance company will cover the expense, but I hope they will.

In the meantime, I recorded a song using my computer and new Martin guitar. I just pressed play and sang into the computer. There were no enhancements. Check out my Facebook page or shoot me an email and I'll send you a link.

Comedy of errors, or am I being haunted?

I went to Virginia today.
I came back home, not really accomplishing my goal, which was to meet a new person and give them my old TV.
Why?
Well, it seems I am being haunted, so anything I do is foiled by a ghost. Let me make a list of what happened. You decide:

• I programmed the address into my GPS. The problem was the address isn't listed yet because the complex is brand new. So, the tomtom can find the general area, but not guide me to the exact location.
• I backed up the tomtom with map quest. I entered the exact address, and printed out the map and directions. The problem is that for some reason, the print out only had the town name and zip code. There were no street names. I'm sorry, but I have been having a very hard time remembering things like street names recently (for the past 57 years), so when I tried to recall it, I had no luck. I even drove around the area for over an hour hoping that it would spark my memory. I stopped and asked some people too. They guided me to apartments and condos, but there must have been a million of them.
  
• I programmed the person's name and number into my cell. But, when I went to call them, I got a wrong number. When I looked at the number, I realized I programmed a local number instead of the proper number. So, when I got to the general location, I couldn't call to ask for directions. How many strikes is that?
• I forgot to pack my afternoon vitamins, and a protein bar. I had planned on visiting, then heading out to find a motel halfway home so I could veg out with my laptop and take my time going back home the next day. Oh, did I forget to mention that I forgot to take my laptop?

The ride was 180 miles long, and my tomtom wasn't a happy camper. It decided at one point to not show me which way to go, and I ended up driving through downtown DC. It is an amazing place, but not when you're trying to drive through it.
I called a friend halfway there and asked him to try to find the person's cell number online, or to try to contact them on Facebook, but he had no luck.
I still haven't spoken with the person, OK, OK! It's a lady. Give me a break. It could have been a nice day with a nice lady....a date if you will. But, I screwed it up, or rather, my wife came back and caused all these things to happen.
I had conversations with several people on the phone during the ride, and I stopped off at a Wawa and got a wrap and a bag of sun chips. I stayed in VA. until almost 2pm after arriving around 11:30am, but never got a call back from the lady. So I guess our relationship is off to a bad start.
The ride to and from was very nice. I won't let anyone get me down. I'll just move on. I did get to drive my little red car almost 400 miles including the meandering around looking at street names and apartments. The Acura got 33 mile per gallon!
Tomorrow is supposed to be a very nice day. I am going to try to get a good night's sleep and head out early for a long walk on the rail trail. I may get to see my grand kids too since they are in the area.
Life is good!