Appetite

Appetite. At least I spelled it correctly.
Feeling full. Got that one right too!
Hunger.
Panic.
Which and who and what am I trying to do?
OK, first.

Feeling full

I used to sit on the couch to eat (still do). I would balance the plate on my belly and eat until I was done, and then some.
Now, I sit on the couch and balance the plate on my stomach, which is much smaller. The pouch is off to one side, and if I put too much weight on it with the plate, I can feel it. This helped me to find my pouch. I am careful to not put too much pressure on it.
If I feel like I have to burp and can't quite do it, I am full. That's how it now feels to me. Before, I never felt full.
The goal now for me, is to measure out the food that I need, eat it, and walk away, even if I am not "full". I haven't gotten to that yet. I still have baggage between my ears that prevents that from happening.
I also get low blood sugar episodes that mess things up for me sometimes.

Hunger

I've found that hunger is not just one thing.
There is an emotional hunger that comes from between the ears, of course. This type of hunger is the toughest to control. This is probably the hunger that caused the obesity in the first place, along with other things like self control, laziness, depression, loneliness, and other things you can add on your own.
Then, there is physical hunger. This is a real hunger. It's the only hunger we should be concerned about. It is a form of pain that is a signal, telling us that we need to get something to eat. We really don't need to eat right away because we have plenty of storage energy, but it is a good idea.
I can get dizzy, or have a slight headache, which is the way my body complains because it is too lazy to tap into it's reserves. Which leads us to:

Appetite

This is an emotional need to signal that we should be storing more energy just in case. It can be masked by the brain, or blown out of proportion by that same brain.
It is all an indication of how we are doing over a time period. If we have a strong appetite, we are "OK" in this society. If it is weak, we lose weight, and are probably not "OK".
Appetite is something we don't need with bariatric surgery. Many times, we have to eat out of necessity, not need.

Panic

This is interesting.
Panic that we haven't eaten in awhile.
Panic that we don't fit in.
Panic that we ate the wrong thing and out wonderful pouch is about to let us know in the worst way.
Panic that we forgot something.
I have experienced this many times since my surgery. There are so many rules and I forget things so easily. I have been very lucky so far. The younger folks are better off than me in the memory department.
I think that's all I want to say for now.

So where have I been?

I've been in the basement cleaning the place out and getting ready to paint the walls. My wife doesn't know about half the stuff I've thrown out, so don't tell her.
I cut the lawn by hand mower 3 times this week.
Couldn't do any of that last year.
I have had people over every day this week to look at the scooter. I think I have it sold, but no money just yet.....
I've been working on the old/new John Deere. I have to replace the mower belt because I messed it up last week and it broke. Now, when I'm finished, I will put the mower up for sale at a slight profit. Maybe, I'll buy another one to work on....
I am still trying to get to my guitar, but have been having too much fun doing other things. I will play it this week for sure.

Putting it all together

I started to copy and paste my blog today into a word document, so that I could read the whole thing and see what I went through.
If you would be interested in reading the whole thing, contact me, and I'll try to send you a copy.
It is 80 pages long, and there is both good and not so good information there.
91 pounds ago, I had more time to write because I was still stuck in my fat.
Now, I can go outside and do things, and I take advantage of that.
Now, my next step is to free myself from some chains, and make some real progress!
In my previous entries, I mentioned some thing, and I plan to do them very soon.

• I am going to rent a kayak and try my hand at it as soon as the water warms up a bit.
• I am going to organize a trip to Hershey Park, and take as many formerly fat people with me as I can.
• I am going to seriously look into relocating to a warm climate.

There are other private things that I am going to do, none of them illegal, or fattening, but I won't list them here.