Taxes and paint

I am alone.
Because of that, many things that should be done in this abode have been left in a holding pattern. Lots of things started, some of them finished. But, there are things that haven't been put away yet. I just don't have time to do it all. This makes me wonder why I am here with all this stuff. Every wonder about that?
I don't mind, but sometimes it frustrates me and it tries it's very best to make me feel guilty. Sometimes, it succeeds.

• After trying my best, I finally went to the tax prep place and had them do my taxes. I carried along two large boxes. I took one in with me and left the other in the trunk of the car. The guy worked for two hours and found two mistakes I made, and corrected them. Then, he found a couple of things I didn't know about and managed to get me a few dollars back. That was the good news. He revealed a few details that cost me money. When all was said and done, I got some money back from the Federal Government, had to pay the State, and broke even locally. Then, he presented me with the bill for his services. Well, there went almost all of the Federal refund. Oh well....
• I ended up bringing everything home and letting the boxes all sit overnight on the couch. I tried my very best to get up and write the check, put the death certificates into the proper envelopes, and go over to the post office, but I just couldn't do it for some stupid reason. So, they sat overnight. I should point out here that those boxes have been there for a few weeks now for several reasons. They are easier for me to get to there. They are also there because the back bedroom is being painted. And, they are there because even though I have gone through them several times, I have to go through them yet again to un-sort them. Long story for another time. What I did instead of finishing what I should have last night, was to eat dinner, then go to the bedroom and paint. I started painting the upper walls an realized that I hadn't done the upper trim. But, I plowed on anyway and went around the room, doing the upper parts, but leaving the trim alone. I filled the paint tray twice and almost finished before I got too tired to do anymore. If I had had the energy, I would have done the upper and lower walls all at the same time, then finish the trim the next time I painted. It didn't work. Oh well...
• This morning after making breakfast....Oh by the way, I bought new pots and pans but haven't put them away yet. I wanted to re-arrange the cabinets so I would be able to keep the inside of the pots from getting scratched. I just haven't had the time to do it all. So, I made breakfast (two eggs/omelet style, Canadian bacon) and watched TV while I ate. I finished the tax forms by inserting the checks and death certificates, sealing them, and taking them to the post office. They had to be weighed and stamps added. Then, I came home and painted the lower part of the room. I didn't finish. I ran out of steam again. But, I did a lot more. Oh well...

I have a pile of clean clothing I haven't yet put away.
I have dishes in the sink.
I have another load of wash to do.
The pots and pans are still on the counter.
I have wanted to set up my old turntable, hook up the amp and speakers so I could play records, but haven't had time or a good place to put them all. Maybe when the back bedroom is finished.
I have empty boxes to throw away, and I also have a ton or more of stuff to clean out yet. Anyone want a child's rocking chair that needs to be re-caned? Oh, and I think the one leg is broken off.
The list goes on and on.

In the past few days, and actually every day, My ADD allows me to complete many tasks, but for some reason, I can never finish them all. I have tried drugs to concentrate, but they don't seem to work, so I self medicate with coffee when I can.

While painting the past few days, I did several other things as I encountered them. These things don't appear on my list. I have a pocket recorder and one day I will put batteries in it and talk into it as I do things just to see just what it is I do during the course of the day.

If I miss the trash can, and I do that quite often, I have to pick it up right away. No one else here to do it for me.
If I want to eat something special, I have to make it myself. No one else here to help out.

I have a friend coming over Monday to see the house again and give me his opinion. He is a real estate agent and he did an assessment before I did all the things to the house. He gave me advice, and for the most part, I followed it. But, I did add things I really wanted, and went a bit overboard with some stuff, such as the fantastic brick paver sidewalk. I am interested in hearing his comments and seeing if the market has improved.

I am getting ready to go out and become social again. I am still not ready, nor am I looking forward to it. I still hate crowds, but who knows what will happen.

I am also looking to find new blogs to read. I love to read, and will finish two books soon, so I need my fix.


Stay tuned....

Progress

I think I've lost a few pounds because I am walking more and have cut back on eating as much. I'm coming out of the seasonal depression by getting more sun, and things seem to be improving a bit.
I had another guitarist come over last night to audition for my duo. I don't think we will be a good fit although I did like him. He plays as well as most of the musicians in the area. I was kind of hoping I would find someone who would play better than me, forcing me to work harder.
He has a good singing voice, but we didn't have time to try harmony.

I am going to the tax preparer tomorrow morning. I worked on the taxes myself online for the past two weeks without resolution to my problems. The terms they are using don't mean anything to me, so I gave up and will pay someone to do it this year.
Hopefully next year will be easier.

I have been watching Showtime series on Netflix for relaxation the past week or so. I finished Battlestar Gallatica, and am waiting for a few extra pieces only available by DVD or Blu Ray to arrive. In the meantime, I have Toy Story 2 and 3 to watch the next time I fire up the machine. These shows and movies are a great escape for me as well as a learning experience.

I keep forgetting that there are varied ideas out there, and not just the PA Dutch way of doing things. It is soooo plain here it's not even funny. I need some Tabasco!

I love my polartec long johns, and my wool blend socks. I really love the shoes I bought from LL Bean. My body has never been warmer in the winter! They have helped me to get outside more and exercise. I really hate the treadmill and other stationary machines. It's a shame I don't have the energy to work on a farm doing real exercise.

It's going to rain tonight into tomorrow, so other than my trip to the tax prep, and driving the school bus, I'm going to stay in and work on the paint for the back bedroom.

Almost there!

1. I'm fighting with myself to succeed. I did have one person try to get me to do something I didn't want to do yesterday, and I refused with dignity. I don't do that too often, but I'm going to start to do it more because it's time for me to stand up and do what I think needs to be done, right or wrong.
2. I realized yesterday that the work I am doing to this home will probably be enjoyed by someone else but me. I am going to lose the house unless I can come up with an income of at least $25k per year. I don't have that now, and really never did. I have always had a double income, with my wife being the main breadwinner because she had the degree. I stayed home to take care of things here. I prefer to do that now, but it looks like I will have to change. I'm at the beginning of my thought process here, so stay tuned. I will get there.

I am almost finished reading a book I wrote about earlier (Four hour work week). I thought the book was a waste of time, but it actually has some relevance to my situation. If I can overcome the deceit suggested in it, I may be able to use some of the information there.

This 4 day weekend was productive for me. In addition to all the physical labor I did on the house, I also kept to my diet, and got in a few 3 mile walks. I also found out how tired I was.
I left for Baltimore last night. I was going to go hear a friend's band, and before I got to York, I realized I would never make it down and back on my own. I was too tired.
So, I came home and hit the sack at 9pm. I slept until 7am this morning. I am still tired, but there is a difference in my attitude. I feel better mentally.

I am almost finished with the taxes. I am trying to do it myself. The death of my wife made it very confusing. For those of you who have money with lots of investments, you are probably used to all the variations of the government trying to steal your hard earned money. For me, it's just a matter of survival.

Regardless of all this, I am still moving forward. Right now, I am not making enough money to live, and I have to do something about it, as I've written about many times.

• I could just give up and collect welfare.

Do you know how tempting that is?
I can qualify for food stamps, financial assistance, and next year's taxes would be oh so easy, because I wouldn't have to pay them because my income is below the poverty level.
I can also qualify for assistance with my energy costs, like gas and electricity, and they will even come out and install new windows, insulation, and other stuff for free!

To me, that sucks!
No way would I drop down to that level. Why should you have to pay for me to live here?

Stay tuned, I'll write more another time. The journey continues....