Memory in all it's forms

I've been wanting to comment on this for awhile, but I keep forgetting to.
I am a person that has a tough time with remembering faces and names. I think it's because I am ADD. I received so much negative response to ME back when I was a kid, that I became gun shy, and very rarely make eye contact.
People think I am lying a lot, even though I'm not. This is because of the eye contact thing. I wanted so very much to be accepted for who I was, that I was willing to change my whole personality just to accomplish that goal.
I lost myself, and developed coping strategies that I use to this day, that aren't the best way, but, they are my way.
So, back to memory....
It all started when I went to another School district in 10th or 11th grade. I knew people from Both districts, but when I saw them, I couldn't remember which school they went to, or what their name was. It drove me crazy because I didn't want to be rude. It was horrible for me.
I ended up going to college in the same area, and had compounded the problem adding more people from other places that I knew, but couldn't remember.
Then, I went to visit friends in West Chester. And...lots of kids from my home area went there too. So, I met people again after years, and couldn't remember where I knew them or what their name was. I really hated myself for this for a long time.
I met my wife at West Chester. I knew her through friends of mine from Levittown, and West Chester. She knew people that I knew, even though we had never met. It's a wonder that we got together at all.
Now, I was lots sharper back then, 34 years ago. Imagine what I'm like now.
We have lived in both Lancaster and Levittown. West Chester, Downingtown, York, West York, and East Petersburg.
Along comes Facebook.
I re-met many friends from Levittown, both schools. I've hooked up with an old friend from Levittown. We even got together as a four piece band. Three of the members lived here in Central PA, and all four of use were from the same school...in Levittown. Confusing? Yup. I meet all these people and they are from over 100 miles away, and they all live here!
Now, in 1982, there was a major change in my life. I won't go into detail, however, I met with many different people from all over the world who were either living in York, Lancaster, or were passing through.
Since I've lived here in Central PA, I moved many times. I've again lost touch with many people, most of the people from 1982 faded into my memory. Those were good times, but I had to make some tough choices,and leave many behind.
Along comes Facebook, and I meet up with a bunch of them again. And...with my memory, and lack of eye contact, and facial recognition, I had lots of trouble remembering names that were foreign to my ears. I do have some that I remember, but it still bothers me to no end that I have this deficit in my brain. I hate it.
Everyone deserves to have their name remembered and honored, yet my brain is deficient in that respect.
I am sorry, but that's me.
Add to that my age, and I have been having a problem with other memory. My Father died from complications of Alzheimer's last year. He had lots of trouble with memory towards the end. I feel like I've got it too.
Now, my problem is with people I know right now. Even if I just saw them, I have to stop and think about their name. Sometimes, I can't remember my grand kids names, or my son or daughter. Sometimes, I will think for five or ten minutes before remembering their names.
Now, my weight loss has had many positive effects on me. But, it hasn't helped my memory. It has improved my night vision. Probably due to my blood sugar leveling out. I can see better without my glasses when I drive at night. I can leave them off during the day most of the time too.
So, memory is lacking, and I finally remembered to write about it. What was I saying?

Overdone

I overdid it yesterday, and paid for it today.
I used my trusty square blade/short handled shovel to edge the sidewalk. This is something I've been wanting to do for years. The grass has grown over the edge of the sidewalk until you can't tell where it is.
So, I started out slow and steady, and then got into it. The grass was just the right consistency, and dry enough to cut really easily, or so I thought.
It took me about an hour to go down the sidewalk and back up the other side. Then, I got my trusty recyclable bag and filled it. I took the extra sod type pieces, and spread them out over a spot that was left behind by a tree stump that was ground. Hopefully, that sod will grow into the bare spot.
I carried the bag to the porch. By this time, I had worked up a sweat and was hungry, so I went inside to get some killer chili.
I sat down to watch TV while eating, and I couldn't get the spoon to my mouth without my hand shaking badly. I had to concentrate to feed myself. My muscles weren't used to real work.
So, then, I went downstairs and put the second coat of paint on two of the walls I did the other day, and started the first coat on the next wall.
When I finished, I went upstairs and took a shower, then I layed down and slept like a rock for two hours.
During the rest of the day, I drank lots of liquid to rehydrate, and took it easy.
Anyway, I went to bed at 9pm, and slept until 3am. I got up and worked on the computer, and had plans on calling my friend at 6am. I layed down for a minute at 6, and woke up around 9am. missing the call.
I took it easy the rest of today. I went to BJs to do some shopping and walked all of the aisles just for the exercise. Then, I came home, ate, and took another long nap.
I am sore now, and heading to bed. Tomorrow, I have to go to the regular market for stuff, and finish the walls in the basement. I have two to go, and they require that I move lots of stuff to get to them. But now, I have room.
Re reading this, I can see how tired I really am. I hope I get more energy soon. I can't imagine a boss allowing me to take naps....

Good things in my life

• I am much happier than I have been in a long long time.
• I am healthy.
• For the first time in my life, I am "Normal" whatever that is.
• I am finishing things that I started 5 years ago.
• I can play my guitar again, although I haven't picked it up too much recently. My fingers were so fat, that I felt like I was playing with gloves on. They wouldn't go where I wanted them to go. And, they hurt all the time. They don't hurt as much now, and they move again, although a few of them are bent with age.
• I can actually concentrate on what someone is saying, rather than worry about when I was going to eat next.
• I can ignore junk food, and alcohol, and soda, and sugar drinks. I can't ignore chocolate.
• I get second glances from females now. Never did before, even when I was single.
• I can complete more than one big task a day without falling over, or not being able to move the next day.

Sour Grapes!

Sometimes, I have to gripe.
Well, I have to gripe a lot because I am burned out and need a change.
I don't need a physical change. I took care of that. I am living and healthy now, at least for my age. I still have lots of aches and pains resulting from years of neglect and abuse of my body. That's my fault, I know.
Now, I am getting abused by the President of the United States, and the Congress of the United States.
It is finally trickling down to my level.
I have been moving forward physically with the comfort of knowing that I had the summer off to clean the house and fix things that I couldn't fix when I was fat. I knew I could take comfort in that fact that I was working for a good solid company, and a great employer who took care of his people.
That was until the government got their hands in things.
They just announced that they were changing my pay rate, and the way I get paid. That means, I will end up taking a huge pay cut to do the same work.
I can't afford to do that. After all, I have taxes to pay.
They gave me the choice of changing to a full size school bus, from a van that I drive now. Both vehicles have advantages and disadvantages.
I like to drive the special needs van. I was glad to get away from the school bus.
The advantages of driving a van:

• The van allows you to deal with fewer children. Although, some of those children have serious problems and it takes lots of patience. Some are just angels too. It is so much better for me to deal with a kid one on one instead of being observed by 70+ other kids who think I am the enemy.
• The van goes home with me. That way, I can save my gas, and wear and tear on my car. It also allows me to be called at a minutes notice to help out somewhere. I try to be available for everything, but don't always succeed.
• I get to drive all over the county. I pick up kids at one end of the county, and then weave my way through the rest until I get them to their destination, far, far, away. I like the long drives. Very little stop and go traffic, and little or no city driving. It does get a bit scary in the bad weather, however.
  
• I have contact with parents, teachers, and administration. This allows for much better communication, and faster discipline.
  

The disadvantages:

• Because of the strange hours, I am not able to take any extra runs that come up. So, I can't make extra money. That is why we should get paid the old way. Sometimes, we drive an extra half hour, or more and we don't charge the company. Sometimes, we are lucky and get home a few minutes early. It all balances out in the end. Now, I will write down every extra minute. It will be a real pain to do.
• We don't have contact with the general population drivers. We are gone when they have meetings, so we don't get the little details about changes and such. That gets to be a pain, but we take the good with the bad.
• When a job is posted, we generally don't get to see it right away. Since. I only go to the garage once a week, if they post on Monday, I may not see it until Friday.

So, I was given the choice of taking a school bus, or staying where I was. At first I thought a school bus would be fine. But, I live about 20 miles from the garage and would have to travel back and forth twice a day. That's an extra 80 miles a day on my car that I don't need. The time involved traveling would vary depending on the time of day too. The roads get pretty clogged between here and there. With my van, I get to slide through the back roads quite nicely. But, my trip to and from the garage is mostly main roads.
I have spoken for years about how I would like to become a snow bird. That is someone who spends the summer here in central PA, and winters in Florida.
I have spoken to my wife about this many many times. But, she has her roots here in Lancaster County, and wouldn't move if her life depended on it.
I don't like being forced to make a change. I would rather plan and organize my changes.
It doesn't look life I will have a choice. I can either be very poor and miserable here this winter, or, I can take a chance and head South. It will be a big chance since I am a conservative, and Floridians are mostly liberal.
Oh well.........