Falling behind

The Back on Track program starts in May, but I need it right now.
I'm falling behind in many things. Oh yes, I am making progress in many areas, but I am getting lazy, or should I say that I am giving in to my laziness.
I am almost 30 pounds up now from last year. I started gaining the weight when my wife got sick. I was hell bent on being selfish and just working on my own personal gains (or losses) when she told me. I lost it. I started eating processed food, and not walking or exercising.
Later, I used my energy on cleaning the house which may have involved some physical labor, or weight lifting, but for the most part was just simple grunt work. It required just plugging away until I got too tired, or bored, or was finished. I should get into the gym, or start my long walks, that I have been planning for a long time now.
So, now, I need to get back on track. I am on my own here, and I am not doing what I want, even though there is no one here to stop me but myself.
I see myself failing, even though I am doing things other may not have been able to do.
I try to see myself succeeding, but I am so tired, scared, and confused.

The world has always spun way too fast for my tastes. Too many things are going on, and I can't stop watching them, or wanting to learn about them.

All of my skills are self taught, with a few minor lessons reading, watching TV, or from watching my father when he used to work. I can do things if I concentrate, but there are some things that are beyond my abilities or knowledge.
So, I walk around the house, dressed up in my ADD, and do things. As I clean out one room, I find things that don't belong there, and I take them to another room, where I do something else, until I finally get back to the first task a few minutes later.
I am a fan of organization mainly because I don't have any of it.
So, every room in the house has some thing finished, and some not.
I tried taking Ritalin to stay on track, but it gave me the shakes and I couldn't get anything done other than sit at the computer and write. The problem there is my hands shook making it impossible to type more than a few letters before making a mistake and I had to go back and correct that mistake.
Right now, I am typing this because my cordless drill died and needs to be recharged. I managed to get the computer room cleaned up, the old curtains removed and trashed. I took all the hardware off the windows, and got 2 of the 3 brackets installed before the battery died. When I finally finish this window, the curtains that have been there since at least 1990 will be gone. That has to count for something.
I spent too many hours sitting in front of the TV this week. I kept looking at all the things that needed to be done, and the things that have to be done on a regular basis, and didn't do much of them. I did all the normal things like dishes, and laundry, but the floor in the back bedroom still has glue on it. This room has glue on the floor too. I think if I started doing both rooms today, I could finish them by next weekend, if the fumes didn't kill me first.
I have to cut the grass, either today or tomorrow. I have not done that yet. It's not really long, just uneven. The first cut of the season is always the most rewarding. It makes the lawn look good. With all the rain we had, you would think the grass would be longer, but it isn't time to wake it up yet. Tomorrow, the temperature is set to go over 80 for one day, so the grass will pop up after that. I like pushing the mower, even though it is busy work. I can put my mind in neutral and just walk back and forth with my ear plugs in. I measured it after my WLS and it came out that I was walking almost 4 miles when I finished. It involves lots of stopping and turning, so the aerobic benefits aren't there, but the physical is sure there. My yard is bumpy. My ankles sure get a work out! I was going to try to get a roller to level out the yard, but didn't yet. Another thing to do....
I took out 4 bags of trash from the garage this week, along with some larger pieces that the trash men were nice enough to take along with them. I bagged some things that shouldn't have been bagged, but I just wanted to get rid of it without having to take it to the dump myself.
I have several cans of paint that I have to take over to the hazardous waste site sometime.
I have several places to work on. I will go down to the basement soon and get rid of more stuff. When I leave here, I want to take as little as possible.

I think I allowed my ADD to lead me through this post, and I'm going to leave it alone for now.