I agreed to do a "Drop your pants" event for the WLS support group as a DJ.
I am not charging them for the event and don't really feel ready to do something as a DJ, but I'm going to do it none the less.
I have gone through so many changes in the past year or so, that my head is spinning.
I am not the same man I was a year ago, or even a few months ago.
I still have flaws, including the inability to say "no" when asked to do something I don't really want to do. It will be a long night. I will have to carry, set up and tear down my system, and find the energy to do it and stay upbeat the whole time. This is not to say that I won't do my best, but I'm not really up to par at this sort of thing.
I've spent hours and hours, days and days, weeks and weeks, working on my house. I've kept it in the front of my mind for all this time. I go through rooms in my head while I'm driving the bus and I work on ideas to fix things, improve things, etc. , until I am so worn out. I am obsessed with getting this place sold, and making sure it's up to my standards. I am finding it difficult to walk away from it.
I also am having trouble not changing my mind and taking it off the market.
My weight has been steady. I haven't gained or lost anything in about a year. I did lose 3 or 4 pounds the last time I weighed in, and I will continue to do that, but I am now pretty much where I will be for the rest of my life, unless I become more active.
My energy level has also improved, although it's been much lower than I would like it to be.
I am not depressed per the definition, clinically. The number of changes in my life justify any feelings I've been experiencing for the past two years or so.
I am finished mourning, but still remember things to this day. I will always remember what happened, and will never get over it.
I started the other blog and realized that the act of starting it was an accomplishment in itself. Because of this, I haven't written anymore of it. Funny how that works....
I am not charging them for the event and don't really feel ready to do something as a DJ, but I'm going to do it none the less.
I have gone through so many changes in the past year or so, that my head is spinning.
I am not the same man I was a year ago, or even a few months ago.
I still have flaws, including the inability to say "no" when asked to do something I don't really want to do. It will be a long night. I will have to carry, set up and tear down my system, and find the energy to do it and stay upbeat the whole time. This is not to say that I won't do my best, but I'm not really up to par at this sort of thing.
I've spent hours and hours, days and days, weeks and weeks, working on my house. I've kept it in the front of my mind for all this time. I go through rooms in my head while I'm driving the bus and I work on ideas to fix things, improve things, etc. , until I am so worn out. I am obsessed with getting this place sold, and making sure it's up to my standards. I am finding it difficult to walk away from it.
I also am having trouble not changing my mind and taking it off the market.
My weight has been steady. I haven't gained or lost anything in about a year. I did lose 3 or 4 pounds the last time I weighed in, and I will continue to do that, but I am now pretty much where I will be for the rest of my life, unless I become more active.
My energy level has also improved, although it's been much lower than I would like it to be.
I am not depressed per the definition, clinically. The number of changes in my life justify any feelings I've been experiencing for the past two years or so.
I am finished mourning, but still remember things to this day. I will always remember what happened, and will never get over it.
I started the other blog and realized that the act of starting it was an accomplishment in itself. Because of this, I haven't written anymore of it. Funny how that works....
1 comment:
Hi, Lee! It sounds like things are coming together for you. Who knows what could happen in your next phase!My weight has stopped coming down no matter how active. It seems like I have to starve myself to lose anymore. My doc says that I lose 60% of my weight which is average. He also points out I am active and healthy. So I'm not going to complain anymore - at least not too often! Cheers!
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