Sitting still

Today would have been our 36th anniversary. I miss my wife. She died in 2010.

I am waiting for permission to put a beautiful painting on this entry. It is a piece that I have fallen in love with.

There are two pieces that are titled I and II called "Kinetic Color". They are acrylic on canvas. I saw Kinetic Color I in person and pause by it every time I go past it. The other, I received digitally by email from the artist. BTW, the painting here, is the second one, and for some reason it came up on it's side. In order to see what I did, you will have to turn it 90 degrees with the blue colors towards the bottom.

The reason these two pieces are important to me is because I've never been able to look at artwork before. In all my years, I was never able to stand or sit still long enough to really look at it because of my ADD.

Now, I have been forced to hold still for longer periods than ever before. This is one of the geed things that has come out of my Pancreatic cancer.

I am enjoying looking at painting now because I can really stop to see them. Before, if they weren't moving, I had no interest.

I like the abstract stuff because they allow me to let my mind wander a bit and see things that aren't really there. My imagination goes wild.

Next week, I will drop off the grid for about 5 weeks. I don't think the place I'm going has internet access. The lady told me she doesn't even have a cell phone. So, I think I will carry my native American flute and guitar with me and maybe try to play while not having anything else to do.

I am going for my radiation therapy treatment for 28 days or so next week, and this fantastic organization made arrangements for me to stay with this family so I don't have to commute 70 miles each way back and forth. The treatment is 5 days a week with the weekends off. That would add up to a lot of gas, wear and tear on both me and the car. This home is only a few miles from the hospital, so it should be much easier.

I will have my own room with AC, and bathroom. I will try to come home on the weekends to rest and clean my laundry. Staying there will be tough, but it will also be much better than the long drive every day.

After this treatment is over, I will continue the clinical trial treatment and may have one or two chemo sessions left, but should be able to recover and go back to work in a few months. I have other plans also, but who knows what will happen?