Tuesday, I think

I am aiming towards my first hundred posts, so I thought I would write here instead of my Facebook page.

I have driven some type of bus for a living since 1974. School bus has been my favorite. City bus is a pain, and Tour bus is too dangerous today.
During that time, I have had days where I will arrive at a corner and not remember which way I have to turn. This is strange, since I have been to this corner many times before.
It's not the same corner all the time. It's different corners at different times.
It doesn't happen all the time, otherwise, I would not be writing this now. I would be on the road somewhere, trying to find my way home. Pay Attention!
Sometimes, I forget how to drive. Sometimes, I forget where I am. I always recover quickly, and it's a fleeting feeling, but not all that different from how they describe Alzheimer's disease.
I have spoken to doctors, and they all say not to worry about it, but of course, I do.

So, I have been on a quest to quit driving all together. I have wanted to go back to playing my guitar and singing for a living for years now.
But, I'm afraid of change.

I'm afraid of success.

I'm afraid of failure.

I'm afraid of being alone.

I'm afraid of making my own decisions.

This surgery is the first things I've done to conquer those above listed fears.
If I ever get the belt changed, and the blade sharpened on my new/old John Deere, I'm gonna go play my guitar again.
Wait a minute.......
I must be afraid of taking the first step too. Better add that to the list,,,,....along with procrastination.
Hmmmm, what else?