To me, this is the worst possible time of year.
I enjoy giving gifts and talking to people, but all of my youth comes back to me, and most of it are not the good parts.
I had lots of good times, and some bad times as everyone has, but the bad times come back to me.
Since I am used to holding in my thoughts and feelings, it hurts to let them out. Of course, I feel better after I let them out, but it still hurts.
I also despise the time after the holidays.
I walk the streets here in East Petersburg, and I see all the beautiful lights (and the not so beautiful ones too!).
After the holidays, some folks hold onto the lights as long as they can. But most, just put them away and that's the end of it.
I enjoy the lights the most. When they are put away, there is a real feeling of emptiness, and let down.
I keep hoping to be able to one day hide out on an island somewhere so I can miss the holiday.
Sometime this weekend, I will be taking a trip to Philadelphia to visit my parent's graves. They are buried in two different cemeteries, on opposite sides of the city, so it will be fun getting there. My Dad is buried next to his second wife, near my grandparents. That's a long story for another time.
This holiday, I have planned to take my Helix apart and paint it, and perform some cosmetic work to it. I also plan to write a story.
One other thing:
I have to decide what to do about my music. I have played guitar since I was 11. I loved doing it back then and made great money at the same time. i was in demand, and quite good at the craft of playing and entertaining. I gave it up for marriage and family obligations. I did play a bit over the years for fun, but never achieved the level of success I had when I was younger. I miss it.
I tried to replace it by becoming a DJ, both on the air and mobile. I worked at various stations in the area, and had a mobile DJ service going until I got too fat.
I still have all of my equipment, although my music collection is a bit dated and could use some freshening up.
My mood is somber, and that's not a good trait for a DJ who wants to entertain people.
My weight loss has come to a halt due to my somber mood, the pressures of my wife's problems, and my willingness to succumb to those problems.
But, life is good.
I enjoy giving gifts and talking to people, but all of my youth comes back to me, and most of it are not the good parts.
I had lots of good times, and some bad times as everyone has, but the bad times come back to me.
Since I am used to holding in my thoughts and feelings, it hurts to let them out. Of course, I feel better after I let them out, but it still hurts.
I also despise the time after the holidays.
I walk the streets here in East Petersburg, and I see all the beautiful lights (and the not so beautiful ones too!).
After the holidays, some folks hold onto the lights as long as they can. But most, just put them away and that's the end of it.
I enjoy the lights the most. When they are put away, there is a real feeling of emptiness, and let down.
I keep hoping to be able to one day hide out on an island somewhere so I can miss the holiday.
Sometime this weekend, I will be taking a trip to Philadelphia to visit my parent's graves. They are buried in two different cemeteries, on opposite sides of the city, so it will be fun getting there. My Dad is buried next to his second wife, near my grandparents. That's a long story for another time.
This holiday, I have planned to take my Helix apart and paint it, and perform some cosmetic work to it. I also plan to write a story.
One other thing:
I have to decide what to do about my music. I have played guitar since I was 11. I loved doing it back then and made great money at the same time. i was in demand, and quite good at the craft of playing and entertaining. I gave it up for marriage and family obligations. I did play a bit over the years for fun, but never achieved the level of success I had when I was younger. I miss it.
I tried to replace it by becoming a DJ, both on the air and mobile. I worked at various stations in the area, and had a mobile DJ service going until I got too fat.
I still have all of my equipment, although my music collection is a bit dated and could use some freshening up.
My mood is somber, and that's not a good trait for a DJ who wants to entertain people.
My weight loss has come to a halt due to my somber mood, the pressures of my wife's problems, and my willingness to succumb to those problems.
But, life is good.
No comments:
Post a Comment