I had a wake up call tonight at the monthly support group meeting.
I hadn't really thought about it, but they were talking about personal support groups. These are the family and friends who know about your surgery and help you get through the process.
I started to think about it, and realized that the only real support group I've had for my weight loss, was professional. I have had no real personal support.
* My wife, as much as I loved her, never supported me in this journey. She never supported me in any endeavor that I've tried. She died last year, and I've had time to reflect and realize this.
* My Son just abandoned me because I stopped giving him money. He was so caught up in his own personal problems, that he never really supported me.
* My Daughter has been very helpful to listen to me, but really didn't talk to me about my surgery, either before or after.
* My sister is a health nut, and is even involved in physical fitness training, but stopped talking to me for reasons she never stated. I don't know if she was angry with me, or what.
I do have friends who have called me on a regular basis. They are moral support for me. They remind me that I am a human, but they don't discuss my WLS.
So, in the beginning, I was charging along on my own with the help and support of the Bariatric Team, and several psychological counselors. After surgery, I went to support group meetings, and kept all my appointments with the Clinic. I saw counselors on a regular basis. One of them also had the surgery, so I felt she had special understanding of my situation.
I stopped going to support group meetings because I was supporting people rather than being supported. I needed help and didn't know how to go about asking for it. I tried to voice this at several committee meetings, but didn't get my idea across.
So for the present meeting, I was quiet and listened, rather than talked or asked questions because I really didn't have any questions.
I listened to other talk about their support team, the love they received, and boy did that hurt.
I have written a lot about the weight loss surgery on this blog and also through emails and letters I've written to friends, so I really can't say I didn't get support. But it sure feels like I'm really alone.
My surgeon resigned at the beginning of this month for reasons that were hidden by the hospital administration. He has been the main part of the support team for 3 years now, and it's not right for him to leave so soon. This type of surgery requires personal contact with the patients much more so than other types of surgery. This doctor has been very accessible to all of his patients from the beginning. He has patients who have followed him from his previous practice which was outside Philadelphia, quite a distance from here.
Our meeting have always been standing room only. I estimate over 100 people at each meeting, and I believe it would go on for hours if it wasn't regulated. People ask amazing questions and they get answers. That's one of the reasons I decided on this practice for my surgery. Dr. Brader was another reason. This guy invented some of the techniques that are used nationally for other surgery. He is personable, and knows what he is doing.
So, I am going to try to build a new support system by going to the clinic and demanding help. I need to get back on track.
I hadn't really thought about it, but they were talking about personal support groups. These are the family and friends who know about your surgery and help you get through the process.
I started to think about it, and realized that the only real support group I've had for my weight loss, was professional. I have had no real personal support.
* My wife, as much as I loved her, never supported me in this journey. She never supported me in any endeavor that I've tried. She died last year, and I've had time to reflect and realize this.
* My Son just abandoned me because I stopped giving him money. He was so caught up in his own personal problems, that he never really supported me.
* My Daughter has been very helpful to listen to me, but really didn't talk to me about my surgery, either before or after.
* My sister is a health nut, and is even involved in physical fitness training, but stopped talking to me for reasons she never stated. I don't know if she was angry with me, or what.
I do have friends who have called me on a regular basis. They are moral support for me. They remind me that I am a human, but they don't discuss my WLS.
So, in the beginning, I was charging along on my own with the help and support of the Bariatric Team, and several psychological counselors. After surgery, I went to support group meetings, and kept all my appointments with the Clinic. I saw counselors on a regular basis. One of them also had the surgery, so I felt she had special understanding of my situation.
I stopped going to support group meetings because I was supporting people rather than being supported. I needed help and didn't know how to go about asking for it. I tried to voice this at several committee meetings, but didn't get my idea across.
So for the present meeting, I was quiet and listened, rather than talked or asked questions because I really didn't have any questions.
I listened to other talk about their support team, the love they received, and boy did that hurt.
I have written a lot about the weight loss surgery on this blog and also through emails and letters I've written to friends, so I really can't say I didn't get support. But it sure feels like I'm really alone.
My surgeon resigned at the beginning of this month for reasons that were hidden by the hospital administration. He has been the main part of the support team for 3 years now, and it's not right for him to leave so soon. This type of surgery requires personal contact with the patients much more so than other types of surgery. This doctor has been very accessible to all of his patients from the beginning. He has patients who have followed him from his previous practice which was outside Philadelphia, quite a distance from here.
Our meeting have always been standing room only. I estimate over 100 people at each meeting, and I believe it would go on for hours if it wasn't regulated. People ask amazing questions and they get answers. That's one of the reasons I decided on this practice for my surgery. Dr. Brader was another reason. This guy invented some of the techniques that are used nationally for other surgery. He is personable, and knows what he is doing.
So, I am going to try to build a new support system by going to the clinic and demanding help. I need to get back on track.
1 comment:
Ok, if you got my last comment, just ignore this one. There was some kind of Google Glitch! Anyway, I lost my job of six months recently because I was out too much. (You remember reading about my cellulitis and lymphoedema, etc!) Anyway, my knee started bothering me. My ortho guy think that it was a result of the cellulitis and the problems I had walking. Anyway, while I was spending a lot of time home, I lost nearly 10 lbs. I realize now how much mindless snacking I was doing at work. There was a lot of stress in that job,and I spent all day at a computer and taking telephone calls and trying to balance both tasks. So, I'm actually kind of relieved. I was just offered a temporary gig as a transaction coordinator for a real estate agent. It will only last a week or two until his regular person comes back from emergency leave. However, I am happy for the opportunity. The State of Md. unemployment people will be happy also. They won't have to pay me unemployment for a couple of weeks! Anyway, I didn't realize how much mindless snacking I was doing. I kept things at my desk, but we weren't allowed to eat regular food at our desks. So I kept crackers, nuts, etc. They add up. Since I've been home, I've been concentrating on drinking more and eating less. It seems to be working. I understand the need for personal support. I have been lucky to have that especially from my husband. I am sorry about your son. You deserve better. Same with your sister. It could be she liked the old fat Lee better because she could be superior. Some people are like that. I hope you meet a nice woman somewhere. Perhaps you ought to try to one of those internet dating services. In the meantime,if you want my cell number, just email me. My husband won't be mad! Perhaps we could even meet one day. Let's just skip politics though. My husband is as lefty as I am! Take care of yourself and stay strong!
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