Every once in awhile, I get overwhelmed by the pressures of everyday life.
I wake up at 2am, and my mind is racing and I can't think about anything but how things are falling apart, and how am I going to keep up with the bills, and is it too late to change my career, and......the cycle keeps going until I have to get up.
Then, things become a bit more clear and I realize that I don't have a career, other than bus driving, and I don't have any money, so I can't pay my bills. So, why worry about it?
But, this cycle happens on a regular basis, and I wonder why I can't get started to fix it.
And then, I remember that I am doing something to fix it. I just lost 95 pounds!
- I am no longer supporting the drug companies. I flushed all my pills.
- I have actually started to cut the grass every other day for exercise, and I get up the next morning and have energy to do other things.
- I am much more even tempered.
- I haven't run the AC in the house because I can stand the heat much better now. Saving money for me, I'm not worried about being "GREEN".
- I still say my prayers, and even though I'd like to win the lottery, I still feel at peace for the most part.
So, I have problems, both physical and mental that still need to be fixed.
We all do.
I'll be picking out the ones I can do something about, and plug away at the ones I can't.- My John Deere RX 63 is still in the garage unsold. I can't drop the price without losing money on it. Woe is me!
The bill collectors have to get in line now. I don't have any choice. With the economy being a good excuse, as well as me being too old (I'll be 56 in September), I can add my surgery as another excuse not to get a "real" job.
I have the summer off. This summer, I am painting the basement. I would like to enjoy this task, but even with my new weight loss, I don't. I hate painting, and much as I try, I can't overcome that hatred! However, Cinder block gray isn't very appealing to whoever will buy this place when we lose it. White paint reflects light better and brightens up the basement.
I am also pursuing my broken teeth. I have two that need to be fixed. One, needs a crown. The other, needs to be replaced. I am not ready to live with a hole in my mouth, so I have to come up with money I don't have to pay for it. They won't let me make monthly payments, so I will be robbing Peter to pay Paul.
So, $3000.00 in non dental medical bills will have to wait.
Unemployment compensation is no fun, but after all these years of being out of school, I still get to enjoy the summer off, even if I do have panic attacks at 3am once in awhile!
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