Sunday blues

I finished everything food wise, yesterday. Today, I worked some more on the kitchen clean up. I took stuff out, and cleaned the floor, cabinets and microwave.
Things got boxed, and bookcases got moved out. There is room to move a bit now.
I feel better, although it still comes with mixed feelings because the stuff I threw out or stored belonged to both of us and our 34 years of being together.
My wife could never throw anything out. There are coupons from years ago. I found a whole can of Lipton tea mix that has never been opened. It expired back in 2006! I didn't see it although it was one of those huge cans because it was hidden behind some piles of recipes taken out of the newspaper. They were hiding it so well.
The floor had dust bunnies that were huge. I found leftover food, dog food chunks, paper, lids, you name it.
I feel better knowing that the floor has been cleaned. The old stuff has been cleaned and taken out so I can now move through the kitchen again.
I still have to go under the counter and I'm not looking forward to crawling around on the floor to reach whatever is hiding down there.
I accomplished a lot today and would not have been able to do it two years ago.
I also went over to Chuck E. Cheese to see my grandkids playing. I hate that place. It's so loud.
I managed a trip to Home Depot too and bought rain gutter covers to keep debris out. I will climb the ladder carefully, and install them in the next day or so. If i go to see my wife tonight instead, I'll do it tomorrow.
I will have to cut the grass tomorrow no matter what. The rain has just slowed down and hopefully is finished. The grass is growing like crazy. I need lots of energy.
I want to play my guitar, but my heart is still broken and I am still stuck. I now understand why musicians and artists need a benefactor. Someone who pays their keep so they are free to work on the music or art. It's the only way I think. Otherwise, I would spend the rest of my life just keeping up with all the stuff that needs to be done.
Oh, and I'm lonely. There are whole days that go by now that I don't speak to anyone in person. that's strange.