Thursday

I am so consumed with grief, and frustration, that's it ever so hard to concentrate on WLS and food.
My wife is still dying in a nursing home. They just cut her physical therapy and she is complaining about things that we can't do anything about.
I try to talk about pleasant things, and keep it light because that's what she seems to want.
But, the world keeps on turning.
I have been working in the house when I can, but since my sleep has been affected, I am walking around like a zombie. I am still positive that I will survive this, but I'm still in the process, and I want it all to be over.
I have mapped out a plan to paint the entire house this summer, as well as selling the one car. I also plan to make some improvements as cheaply as possible within my limited income.
I am going to play my guitar for money again, but I don't know when that will happen.
Since my ADD has thrown some interesting monkey wrenches into my life, I am going against all of them and making a schedule that I plan to follow.

• I will practice 4 hours a day. This includes finding songs to do, writing them down, lyrics and chords. I also want to try to improve my playing so I can do some old style Jazz chord melody pieces. I love that type of music, and want it to continue for years to come and not be lost.
• I plan to schedule exercise and keep to the plan. I may go to a club, but will probably stay at home in the beginning.
• I plan to follow a daily schedule, not a long term schedule. I can get lost in the large chunks, and want to keep things small so I don't feel overwhelmed.
• I plan to take a course of study. I haven't decided what yet, but I am going to further my education.
• I plan to socialize.
• I plan to find new foods, and ideas to further my weight loss. All of the above will be part of the quest to reach my goal weight of 155. I may never get there, but I am aiming towards it.
• I plan to take vacations. I haven't had one in, in, well I haven't had one. Vegas, here I come.
  

So, it's now time to continue my cleaning out of the house. I have to bag more clothing, and move stuff from the bedrooms to the basement so I can paint.