Every Once in awhile, I have good things happen to me, and sometimes bad things. I get overwhelmed. That's where I am right now. Too much is happening, and I want the good feeling to last, so I shut down. I have to overcome that feeling and move ahead. When I do, I will know I've arrived! I will be posting some new websites to help both you and I to save money, and still get the bariatric stuff we want and need. Stay tuned......
The next meeting of the Lancaster General Hospital Bariatric Group is Thursday, February 5, 2009. 7pm. to 8:30pm. at the Health Campus. I haven't heard what the topic of discussion is going to be, but the support of the fellow Pre and Post people is worth it's weight in gold. If you are going, feel free to let me know. I will be there about an hour early to walk with anyone who is interested. We walk inside the Health Campus and it's enjoyable. We cover all three floors. Nice and warm with good company. See you there.
January, 2009. We took Lilly to an indoor playpark. I could never have done this a year ago! I was too fat and out of shape. Now, I can move around. I can bend down. I can smile. I can stand up again. I can stay on my feet much longer than I could.
One of the things I wanted to do was to visit Eric and Shona, and Lilly once a month and take Lilly so Eric and Shona could have a few hours of free time. I can do that now.
Well, that is a tough one because in order for me to answer that, I have to go back and look at the past posts. Because, I am not really concerned with change anymore. Obama can screw that up, I mean, worry about that for me.
I changed my chili recipe. I use it as a main meal now because I can prepare it in quantity and keep it frozen until needed. If I am lazy that day, or just need to do something else, I can grab it and heat it up in a few minutes without fuss.
My chili recipe doesn't have sausage in it anymore. I had to switch over to turkey or chicken sausage, and I don't really like either one that much. I will buy and eat other sausage in my other meals, but not add it to the chili. I also don't use two different kinds of beef. I use ground beef now because I like the way it works smoothly into the chili. I still make up a batch with just beef cubes, but I don't mix them. I don't add spinach to the mix anymore. I will make a stew with spinach, beef cubes, and beans, but it won't be chili. I do add celery, onion, and carrots now on a regular basis. I also still use Lima beans and corn once in awhile. I can use them in other foods separate from chili now. Chili was my main meal every day for awhile since it had all of the main food groups in it, and it is easy for me to prepare, but now, I am working towards incorporating other foods into my diet.
I started to lose weight again. My plateau is now over. This is the first plateau, not the last. I started cutting back on quantity of some meals. I standardize some meals, and change things only once in awhile. This works for me, so I do it.
I don't bother with the scale as much as I did. Since I started working out, I am not concerned as much with weight as I am with fitness. I want to feel strong and feel good.
I am not too worried about my looks. I have some sagging, and I can see that I will have a lot more to worry about soon, but I am looking so much healthier than I did. I've seen some folks lose weight too fast (non-bariatric people) and they look like death warmed over, even though they are healthy. I am concerned with making sure I lose at a rate that doesn't allow that to happen to me. I will worry about cosmetics in the future. Not my concern now.
I passed another round of blood tests with flying colors. I am now a fanatic about making sure I stick to my diet, and vitamin/mineral plan in order to be the best that I can be.
I really am starting to believe that I can finish this successfully. This is the first time I can remember feeling like this. I am sticking to my exercise plan, and not feeling like I'm going to die anytime soon. Yippie!
So, what's next? Well, for now, I will continue to move forward, and not worry about when I'll get there.
That's a new record for me, as I think I said earlier. Got the results today. Keep in mind that before I lost the weight, I was taking tons of pills for all kinds of medical conditions, all related to my weight. I am now taking zero pills! None, Nada, no dope! My BP was almost normal (just a bit high). My other tests were all well within the normal range. I have never been normal, so this is a real experience for me. The only test my family doctor doesn't like, is my cholesterol, which is high. So, he gave me some pills to take for 6 weeks until I can take another cholesterol test. I am hesitant to take them, and will resist if I can justify the risk, versus the rewards. I hate Statin drugs. They probably were responsible for me gaining weight a few years back. They made my joints ache, and they still do. I will never take them again. Never! Now according to the reports on this other drug, there is really no way to determine if it is working. That is because the results don't show up on any tests. Also, it came back a few months ago, that they weren't even sure the stuff did anything. So, now I will begin a search for a new family doctor that is more interested in me, than in supporting the drug companies. He better not mention chocolate......
I fell off the wagon for a bit. Things were going so well, and I decided to treat myself, so I had a little more food, and goodies than I should. I also let my mind wander a bit, and should have stayed focused. Well, that wasn't to be. So now, I am still at my plateau, and starting to get a little antsy. I am working out more, so my muscle tone is improving. "Antsy" is good for workouts! I found an indoor baseball park. I like baseball, so I am going to try my hand at a batting cage in the next few days. It will be part of my exercise plan if I can afford it. Otherwise, I will stay in my basement and work out there until it gets warmer. Anyone who wants to join me is welcome. I managed to clean out the dryer vent, since it was totally clogged. I also assembled 6 large, and 2 small boxes so I can do more "reading up". I have an area that is 10' by 5' and about 3 foot high of trash to be brought up from the basement to be stored on the porch until I can afford to have it hauled away. If I really get to it, I will break everything down and just take it down with the trash every week until it's gone. I need to put up a tarp on the porch to cut down on the breeze. The wind comes through and blows everything all over the place. I have to keep hunting for the trash can. This past week, we had a snow scare. The weathermen were all wrong and we just got a dusting, so moving everything around on the porch to pull the car up was really not necessary. I took my scooter (Honda Helix) for it's weekly ride yesterday. It was really cold for that. I covered 30 miles and it took a few minutes to thaw out afterwards. I was dressed in layers and a goose down coat, so I was fairly comfortable for the whole trip. I would like to get a head to toe coverall that is down filled along with some glove liners, and a full face helmet, but that will have to wait. The wind gets into all the little spaces I can't cover up. I have a "buff" and that does well for my neck and head, but I could use a little more. So now I am on my way to more weight loss, and much better health after a normal "pause" in the routine. All work and no play......
I thought I had it all figured out. I was well on my way to losing the weight, getting into shape, and feeling great. Then, I ran into my first stop sign. Blam! My weight loss stopped. I have been feeling great, but all of a sudden, I have to go lay down. I am beat. Blam! I have been following my diet to the letter with a few cheats, but not calories as much as....well, I love chocolate, get the idea? Dark Chocolate, Yummy. I eat one small square. I've also eased up just a little on my Celiac diet. I don't eat bread, but I did have a piece of pizza. Just one. So, I wrote an email to my team at Lancaster General Bariatrics, asking them what was up. Was I having a problem, or is this just normal. I got an answer. I reached my first plateau. It's a normal part of the weight loss process. I honestly thought that would occur much later in the process, but it caught me off guard. It got me! But, with the help of the team, I am back on track. I made it to 224, but have been all around that number from 226 down to 222. That's OK, I can live with that. I have been walking. I took to the rail trail this past week. I covered 4 miles, 2 out, 2 back. I kept moving the whole time. I only stopped long enough to take a few sips of my Crystal Light Red. It felt funny to walk. My legs felt so stiff without all the fat flopping around. I keep hearing my joints popping and adjusting. I also have been giving my clothes hanger a workout. You know, the one they call "Total Gym"? I found out it was fun if I play some great music on my DJ outfit. As long as I shake the walls, I can go forever! Same thing with the treadmill. I climb hills and actually jog for a few minutes. I used to run in my dreams and wake up out of breath. Now, I will be able to do it for real. Wow. Bring it on! I'm ready for it all!
I have been reviewing my life up until this point, and I hate writing things like "Happy New Year" for whatever reasons I have. So, I wrote it many times today, and everytime I did, it made me think of things I hadn't thought of in years. But in this new year, I will make some of the most important decisions of my life so far.
I really, really mind the cold for the first time I can remember. I am tired of the cold, so I will try to move to a warmer climate.
I was never a "jock". This year, I will try to become interested in exercise and non intellectual pursuits.
I will re-examine every aspect of my life, and try to change some of them.
So to all who are reading this......Happy new Year!
While I cook the chicken, I listen to Jazz on the TV set. It's Comcast digital, and sounds great with my surround sound system that was very cheap. Tools:
Ron Popiel Rotisserie
Paint brush. I use a 1" unfinished handle nylon brush. I wash it as soon as I'm finished with it and let it air dry.
Teacup
Seasonings:
1/2 teaspoon Sea Salt
1 teaspoon Paprika
1 teaspoon Garlic (you may use powder, salt, or fresh)
2 tablespoons Olive oil
1/2 stick Butter (yes, I still use butter)
1/4 cup Vinegar
Put butter in teacup and microwave until the butter is melted and warm. About 45 seconds to 1 minute.
Add all ingredients to the butter and mix with the brush. Store the cup on top of the rotisserie to keep the butter soupy and warm. You may take it off if it gets too hot.
Use one or two 3.5 pound chickens of your choice, cleaned and rinsed with cold water. You may add stuffing to the chicken, but not if you are a Celiac like me. Mount the chickens on the rotator and tie the legs so they don't flop. Mix the liquid and seasonings together and paint the chicken before you mount it. Pay attention to the inside edges so they will brown and not burn too much.
I set my alarm for every 10 minutes and I paint the chicken with the seasonings. When you run out of seasonings, you may clean up.
The rotisserie works well if you read the instructions. you run it 15 minutes for every pound of chicken. Keeping checking it, and especially around an hour. You should use a meat thermometer to check internal temp to make sure it is cooked inside. It will continue to cook after it is taken out of the oven.
I was watching a young women today at the Wal Mart riding in one of those scooters, because she was so heavy that she couldn't walk for long on her own. I felt like yelling at her at first, that she was stupid for letting her self get that fat. Then, I thought about the fact that I had just spent an hour walking around the Wal Mart, and I was not tired or sore from standing. Last night, I was able to trim my toenails without contorting myself, or getting out of breath. If I had not gotten the surgery, I would probably be in a scooter right next to her, or even worse, been on my way to the morgue. Everyone has to find their own way past the prejudice they accumulate over the years, and the stereo type thoughts that fat people are stupid. I was really surprised at my reaction. I guess I have a bit more road to travel.
So, how many others are thinking about this time of year right now? Every year, I go home to Levittown and remember the "good old days". I go past all 3 of the homes I lived in, and think about the people I knew. I think about the friends, and the not so friends, and I wonder how they are and where they are. I miss them. But this year, as all previous years, is different. Through the world wide web, I have made contact again with many of them. I have touched base with them, and have actually met new "old" friends that remember me, even though I don't remember them. The good feelings I get from knowing these people, has helped me through this very difficult time. It is tough for me for two big reasons, and a variety of smaller reasons.
I miss my Parents. My father died this past summer. My Mother died when I was around 23. (55 now)
The Christmas holiday has never been my own.
I haven't achieved what I was put here to do.
One of the smaller reasons is because I miss being young. I wish I could go back and do it all again sometimes. And of course, sometimes, I wouldn't change a thing.
I haven't found everyone I want to meet up with again. That makes me sad. I have seen a few who haven't lived this long, and that bothers me.
I would like to correct old mistakes that still affect the way I think and do things. I have corrected many of those mistakes.
So, in the next year, I plan to:
Continue to lose weight and change the way I do things. My mind is the number one obstacle to that goal. My stomach has already been taken care of. The rest of me has to get in line, or it will all be for nothing.
I need to get out of debt and manage my money so I can do more of the things I want, and less of the things I have to do. Busy work has to be eliminated, although that will be an ongoing goal. Busy work can never be eliminated. It's one of the things released from Pandora's box.
I need to develop a system that I can keep track of people places and things.
I want to write my books.
I want to run a marathon.
I want to Kayak.
I want to live in the warm climate year round. I'm tired of the cold temperatures.
My brain memory banks were full until I had this surgery. I didn't think I had anything left to learn that was worthwhile. Now I know I was wrong. Food, diet, exercise are all new to me again. Vitamins, minerals, are all new to me again. I am down to 229 or so, and feel good. I am still sore from the cold temperatures, but I can live with that. I got on my treadmill today and was swinging my arms so wildly while I was talking into my microphone, that I accidentally pulled the panic cord and reset my program. I had it set for 45 minutes at various speeds, and it reset! I hate that. I was able to start up again, but didn't bother to reprogram it. I just set it and adjusted the speed as I went along. The microphone is so that I can dictate my book into the recorder. I kill two birds with one stone. I get exercise and write a book at the same time. Now, I am listening to Jazz playing on my TV and run through the home theater. The music fills the house and I can wash the dishes, make dinner, and run a load of wash while listening. I ran the Dyson this morning, but didn't have the music playing because of the machine noise. Dinah Washington..... great music!
My Hard drive crashed on Saturday morning, so I went over to Cyber Warehouse. They offered me one that was twice the size as the one I had, and gave me a good price to reload XP pro since I didn't have the disc. They told me it would be Thursday or Friday until I got the computer back. I went back home and they called me an hour later to tell me it was finished and I could pick it up! Wow! The computer is now flying since I found a cable to connect it directly to the DSL line instead of using a wireless connection. I have been working all weekend to reload the computer so I can restore my files. I use Carbonite, which is an online storage service. It is very reasonable, but I am having some trouble reloading my files and will have to contact them to figure it out. In the meantime, I have a new "twice as nice" hard drive, and renewed energy in my lappy, so I am happy.
How about the Magic Bullet? It's a great help when you first start the post surgery diet. It also helps for mixing drinks and other foods. The book that comes with it really adds to the experience. The machine is solid and works very well, as advertised. One thing you can't mix is protein drinks. They tend to blow up into some kind of foam. They expand like crazy and make a real mess. Veggies, fruit, all mix together nicely.
Baby spoons? Yup, I use them for yogurt, and soft foods. It allows me to still feel like I'm eating faster than I actually am. I use regular utensils when I'm out eating in a restaurant, but don't fill up the fork or spoon as I used to.
Storage containers? Well, I found plastic and glass containers with lids that are very small at Wal*Mart. I can fill them up after making a meal that I can spread out over several days. Or, I can take them to work with me. When I travel, I take them along. Saves the hassle and expense of eating out. I also use lots of larger containers. I can make my killer chili in a very large crock pot over about a 6 hour period. Then, I transfer it to 6 or more equal size containers. I then freeze all but one. I eat one meal of the chili each day. On the second day, I remove another container from the freezer and let it sit in the fridge. If I am in a hurry, then I can pour out what I need into a bowl, and nuke it, saving the rest for another day. Works for me.
Drink containers? Oh yeah, I buy a case of Fruit 20 (two O). Then one day, I will drink the water in the bottle. Rinse it out, and then refill it from the fridge with Crystal light Tea. I buy the Crystal light at BJs, so I have 3 choices in flavors. Iced tea, Raspberry ice, and lemonade. I don't like the lemonade, so I use the other two a lot. Never get tired of them. I bought two gallon size containers from Wal*Mart. These containers are narrow and rectangular. They have spigots on the ends, so I can fill them up, and pout them out, as I wish. So, I empty the bottle out, rinse it, and refill it from my fridge. No one has to know the liquid in the bottle cost a fraction of the price of a bottle of flavored water!
I plan to buy a second coffee maker so I can set up one for my wife (high test) and one for me (decaf).
I also bought a shaker bottle, which to me became a waste of time since I prefer to stir my protein, rather than shake it. They are also hard to clean. I have large glasses that are smooth, so i can wash them out easily. Protein powder, no matter how hard you mix it, has a tendency to stick to the container. The smooth glass solves that problem.
I have been getting ready to record my thoughts so I can write my first book. I gotta tell you, it's really tough for me to think thin. I am so used to being sore and tired, and worn out all the time. I'm still sore, but I'm not tired. So, what's so hard about writing a book? The itch is in a place I can't reach. It's in between my ears, and behind my skull! Ever feel that way? I do all the time. My weight loss hasn't changed that at all. I don't know why, but I am going to find out. My basement is a playground for me. But, it's cold down there. I am broke, so no space/supplemental heating for now. Even working out on the treadmill doesn't get me warm. My fingers are so cold and sore! Now, I'm done complaining. I feel better already!
I need to schedule my day
I need to follow that schedule, every day
I need to keep up with a variety of foods, so I don't get lazy or bored, and cheat
My basement has a large multi purpose bench for workouts with free weights. It has a leg and arm unit attached to it. I also have a Total Gym. If you can only get one thing, that's the one! It is actually fun, although I still get a bit of motion sickness. I don't have all the attachments for it, but it serves it's purpose. And, I have a professional treadmill. This unit has everything, but not all of it works. I bought it from a resale dealer. It has extra padding in the tread, and is wide and long so I can move around on it. I usually walk about 3 mph and raise the grade up to 2.5 or 3%. I can jog on it for a short way, but I'll get better. The funny thing is that I almost fall over when I try to walk on the floor afterwards. My leg muscles are used to carrying 75+ or more pounds than I actually have on me now. So, my legs over-react, and I end up stumbling around until I lose my "sea legs". So now, I stand on the treadmill and hold on after I'm done walking, until I can stand without falling. On the far wall, I have two amplifiers, my PA system, DJ box, an extra mixer, various pedals, mics and stands, and my two guitars. I will post a picture of that. When I walked yesterday, I played Steely Dan on my DJ outfit. It's about 1400 watts flat out, but I was about half that. Tonal quality in the basement is very good, and since I'm alone, I can play it loud........and.....I DO!
From time to time, I will find variations, or mistakes in my blog, and I will go through and edit them. Simple things such as spelling or grammar don't matter much as long as you can understand what I write. But, I found a variation on a recipe that I wasn't aware of before, and I posted that. Look back in November's posts and find "Coffee recipe". Try it and enjoy.
Please feel free to read my new blog, which is about resumes, as if you couldn't tell. My friend wrote a letter of introduction for his service, and he sent me my finished resume, which is fantastic. I did some minor editing, and will send it back to him for approval. I am going to send out a blanket email in case anyone would like to have a resume written by my friend. The Email address below is in case you would like to talk to my friend about having a resume done for you. His rates are very reasonable, and he will work with you until it is to your liking.
I thank Wendy, Greg, Kristin, and Dr. Brader for allowing me to speak tonight.
Now, a little background on me.
My name is Lee Feldman
I was born in 1953, in Philadelphia, raised in Levittown.
I have two grown children and 3 grand kids, with another on the way.
After getting married in 1976, we moved many times and finally ended up in East Petersburg, where we have been since 1992.
I was involved with the Lions Club, East Petersburg Fire Company, and the East Petersburg Day Committee, all volunteer.
I have driven some kind of bus since 1974 for my main source of income.
I am/was a Disc Jockey since 1994 or so.
I have played guitar since I was 11.
My hobbies are music, listening and playing, researching my past, including finding old friends and acquaintances through the Internet, riding my Honda Helix, and writing my memoirs.
I am 5’7” tall.
When I started my quest to lose weight and keep it off, I weighed in at over 305 pounds. I have lost weight many times, but have never been able to keep it off.
I had my surgery on July 31st.
I now weigh in around 230 and my goal is to go all the way back down to 155, which is what I weighed when I got married 32 years ago.
I feel great!
So, what is my definition of a milestone?
A milestone along the road marks the starting point in a journey. Every mile, there is a new mile marker showing how far you have gone, and how much further you have to go.
If you want to go 5 miles, you have to pass by markers 2 through 4 in order to get to mile marker 5.
The mile markers may go by un-noticed, but the milestones I want to concentrate on here, are the ones that affect you. These are the ones you notice along the way.
Unlike a road that has a beginning and an end, this type of journey has a starting point, but it can go on as long as you are here on earth.
Your decision to get the surgery is milestone zero. This is the point where you decided to finally lose the weight and keep it off for life. But more than this, it is the point that you will change your life forever. You are not going back in time; rather, you are starting over, with a very good chance of success.
Your surgery date is mile marker zero. This may or may not be a milestone for you.
A mile marker is a point along your path.
Look for the first thing you will remember for the rest of your life. That’s the Milestone.
A Milestone is a memory on your journey.
The points along the way from mile marker one are:
The hoops you have to jump through with the insurance company to qualify for the surgery.
Deciding whether to tell your friends and loved ones about your decision.
Preparation for the surgery.
Changing the way you think about foods.
Planning exercise.
Gathering the items you need for after the surgery.
Making the decision to do it right this time.
Reading everything you get instead of just putting it aside.
Your milestone is something that you decide. In order to get there, you have to travel along a path that is different from everyone else, and yet, there are many who are on this same journey. You are not alone.
Something simple:
•Your pants are too big
•You aren’t recognized by a friend you haven’t seen for awhile
•You fit into a booth at the local restaurant
•You buy a pair of shoes that tie, instead of slip ons.
•You are able to stand up from the couch without moaning, or planning ahead.
•You can climb into the back seat of a car.
•You no longer have to buy double or triple X clothing.
•You can actually fit into an airplane seat and actually fasten the seatbelt.
•You can trot up the stairs without causing an earthquake, or getting out of breath.
Here are some ideas for you to think about.
•If you were shy, will you still be that way?
•If you used coping mechanisms to hide your emotions, will you be able to let go of them? How will you do that?
•Will you still get angry at the same things?
•What are you going to keep and what will you discard? What are you going to change?
•Will you still think of yourself as fat?
•Will you ever think of yourself as “normal”?
•Will you let anyone stop you, or change your mind?
•Will you stay here, or will you move and start over?
I can hear myself say “oh, I would never do that!”. Or, “I really don’t like to do that”. That’s my coping mechanism at work. I was really saying, “I’m too fat” or out of shape to do that.
So what do you really want to do that you couldn’t do before? When will you be able to do it?
I think that milestones may be different for younger people than with older folks like me.
I am starting over, with more energy, the ability to do more than I could in years, yet, I have experiences and excess emotional baggage than the younger folks.
I would like to hear from those younger people so I can get a feel for the differences and similarities.
I am listing my email and blog address. I would like as many people as possible to contribute to the blog so that we can help each other through what will be an exciting journey, not without it’s roadblocks, and potholes.
Please feel free to write to me. I will keep your names private unless you give me permission to publish it.
I would like to see recipes, ideas for exercise, stories, milestones reached, and if you would like to meet with others to celebrate your achievements.
I have already gotten some great ideas from some Post surgery people. I would like to get more. We all need all the help we can get.
Someday soon, I will be able to leave the nest and walk on my own through the world.
Over the next few weeks or so, if I can get the time and energy, I will be modifying this website to cater more closely to Bariatric and Celiac needs. I may also expand it for other medical conditions, but that may be a bit of overkill. I only have so many hours in the day to do things, and I am goofing off on the computer instead of working out. I am going to break that chain right now. The website was started by a good friend, and it is a generic catch-all recipe site. You can log on and post your recipe, or copy one for yourself. The ads are what keep it going. If you buy something through one of the ads, then the owner makes enough to keep it going. It is not really very lucrative, but it wasn't meant to be. The owner gave me control of it, and I will decide what I want to do when the time comes. In the meantime, if you send me recipes, I will be able to continue to eat.
This post is my catch all in order to catch up. I will bullet the highlights, and maybe fill in the details over the weekend.
I reached a new milestone this afternoon. I am going to write down a schedule for the next few weeks, taking into account the holiday. I am hoping it will help me stay on track and accomplish some of the great things I am capable of doing. I am ADD and find that I am goofing off too much. I get lots of stuff done, but my mind is moving so fast, and I am frustrated.
I have 3 books in my head and will try to write down the first one over the next month.
I have 2 songs that a friend has co-written with someone else. I told him i would finish them so we could record them and release them to the world.
I have not started my exercise program as I should have two weeks ago. I have to find a way to carry a portable recording device with me so that I can start walking, and eventually, jogging. I may have the device with me now, but I have to check. If not, I will have to improvise because I can't spend the money to do that.
I have to develop a website with a friend so I can start to make money.
I am on a job search. I have a friend doing my resume for me and I have to decide where to go with it when it is finished. He is the guy that I started the other blog for.
Ok, next....
The new links I posted about music, are for another friend. He has an indie music website, and has found some great new talent. If you go to the website (www.ilike2rock.org), you can download a toolbar that will play a variety of songs. You can decide if you like it for yourself. For myself, I enjoy hearing new music that I have never heard before. There are too many stations out there playing the same old thing over and over....how boring.
Michael Paul is a guy who is an up and comer in the music business. He has written to me for a while, and I offered some suggestions to him. I like his stuff, and enjoy hearing a good writer as well as performer. I dare you to tell me I am wrong. If we are lucky, he will become mainstream and everyone will be that much richer for hearing him.
Resume resume is the thing I started for my friend. I wrote the initial post and then decided he was right and deleted it. I have time to finish it another time. In the meantime, if you need a resume that will get you a job, email me and I will put you in contact with him.
One thing I forgot to mention about the meeting last night. It was the first time in years that i was able to stay on my feet for over an hour. Wow! Now, I promised myself to clean off the 6 foot work table tonight, so that's what I'm gonna do.
